Jacob Black?
by The Ordinary Girl
Summary: I’ve never been much of a Jacob fan girl. Actually, I guess I’ve never been much of an Edward fan girl either. And so, when I turned to the last page of Eclipse, I was surprised to find myself falling in love with the werewolf.
1. Prologue

The group of them gathered around the front of the building. All of them were tall and looked terrifyingly powerful. They made an impressive bunch; none of them looked like high school students at all. It seemed that they were somehow separated from the many other cliques of the high school. They stood out, casually, from the other groups, especially the one who seemed a bit apart from even his own group.

He was tall like the rest of them and had shaggy, long – for a boy- hair. He was leaning on a motorcycle. His face held a blank look; it looked as if it hadn't smiled in ages, his eyes unreadable. The shadows thrown over his face made it look gaunt and serious.

I could do nothing but stare. Something tugged at my mind, trying to make myself remember something the boy reminded me of. I was about to give up when a girl walked past asking her friend, "Have you seen that new werewolf movie? It's supposed to be the scariest thing ever!" _Werewolf_…

I looked back at the boy by the motorcycle and gaped as the details from the books fit. With the long hair, the tight, serious face, he looked exactly like…like _Jacob Black_.


	2. REAL Chapter One

**A/N: I was rereading Eclipse when I thought of this!**

**Disclaimer: I do not Twilight, New Moon and/or Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer.**

I've never been much of a Jacob fan girl. Actually, I guess I've never been much of an Edward fan girl either. Yes, I do like the _Twilight _series. And so, when I turned to the last page of _Eclipse_, I was surprised to find myself falling in love with the werewolf. Okay, fine, it wasn't really falling in _love_ with him. Oh, don't get me wrong, it's not that loving the werewolf is morally wrong, as some fans believe, but it was just sudden that's all. As I closed the book, I found myself wishing to be able to be beside him, to comfort him.

I sat on my bed where I had lain -finishing the third book- for a few moments just thinking of the book and the characters. The entrancing feeling that good books always had on me lingered as my thoughts whirled around in a wave of frenzy. I could still feel Jacob's pain; the last words of _Eclipse _were slowly etching in my mind. I might have been feeling a bit lost, seeing as I had been waiting for _Eclipse_ to come out for a long time, and having finished it in a day, there was just a sudden sense of puzzlement as to what to do next.

Not really knowing what I was doing, I flipped to a random page in the book, and began reading again. It was the part as Jacob left, and Bella wanted to persuade him to kiss her. When I first read that part, I had stopped right after Bella gave up on the kiss. I felt like I _wanted_ Jacob to win. That, I wanted Bella to know the truth, that she really did love him. Maybe even then, I had been cheering for him.

"Kara!" my mom suddenly shouted from the kitchen downstairs, "Kara, where are you? Dinner will be ready in five minutes!"

"Sure," my voice had turned raspy from lack of use; I cleared my throat and tried again, "Okay, mom!" I closed my book with a sigh and placed it on my cluttered desk, careful not to ruin the book in any way.

As I trudged down to the kitchen, I smelt the delicious aroma of my mom's cooking. It was her perfected ravioli dish that everyone in the family loved. I quickened my pace when I heard the sound of cutlery banging against each other and the deep resounding voices of my older sister and my father arguing.

"It's a great opportunity, Emma," my father's voice had gotten dangerously low.

"Dad, why on earth do you still _keep_ that job?" I heard my sister, Emma, ask fiercely. I frowned. This wasn't right. _What's wrong with Emma and Dad now? _"What about Kara?" _What about me? _"She has _friends_ here. And, you're taking them away from her by moving!" My eyes widened.

Without thinking, I charged into the dining room. "_WHAT?_ We're moving?" I cried, incredulous at even such a thought. "Why? WHY DAD?"

He sighed. It was apparent how he hadn't wanted me to find out this way. "Yes, we're moving." He walked over to me and led me to our white couch. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"You should," Emma muttered under her breath.

My father glared at her. "Kara," he continued, "I have been offered a business position in Port Angeles." After a moments silence, he added, "It's near Seattle." _Seattle_… A flurry of _Twilight_ related thoughts whizzed in my mind. "And, the pay is a lot more than what I … get now."

Emma heaved a sigh and went into the kitchen.

"I accepted," my dad finished, looking hopefully at me.

I stared at him for a few long moments of silence. "Wh-when are we moving?" I asked slowly, unable to think of any other answer.

He looked relieved that I hadn't burst out in rage like Emma. "Two weeks."

I let out a faint gasp. "Two weeks?" I repeated.

"Yes," he replied, wincing at my reaction.

"B-but th-that's so soon," I stuttered.

My father smiled apologetically. "I was trying to tell you, but something always came up or it just didn't seem the right time…" He caught my frozen disbelieving look. "Well, it was good that your grandmother decided to go on a traveling frenzy."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we haven't been to Port Angeles before, I have, I mean, but not long enough to find somewhere to live. Your Grandmother has a…big enough…house near the city, but it's in a small town area. It's right next to Forks." _Forks…Bella and Edward_, my mind immediately linked.

I hadn't noticed that my mouth was wide open, and I looked puzzled yet excited at the same time. It must have been a surprise more than anything for my dad to find his daughter looking like that. Suddenly, there was a big bang which made the two of us jump.

"Are we finished in here?" my mom came out, looking even more stressed than usual. "So, I take it, you told Kara the news, Eric?" she asked too brightly for me to find it hard _not_ to notice.

He nodded.

"Good," my mom breathed out, "let's eat then!" She snatched off her apron, and hollered for Emma to bring in the pasta bowl. Emma, looking very disgruntled, came out holding the usual big bowl of ravioli, placed it in front of our mother and walked up to the spot beside me, which just happened to be the seat farthest away from our father.

It was then that I found it weird that Emma would be angry that we were moving. My older sister was going to start her first year of university, and, so, she wouldn't have any trouble with us moving. Unless… unless she wanted to put all the bad things that have been done by our father into one argument. Emma's always like that. Those days, our dad and she would be found arguing over her studies and her new found boyfriend, Jonathon.

My older sister was quite literally head over heals about Jon. She met him two years ago, and they've been together ever since. Our father…doesn't really like Jon. We don't really know why, at least he hasn't told us. But, he says that Jon doesn't seem trustworthy enough. Being the stubborn girl Emma is, she stayed with her boyfriend, and whenever something bad was said about him, she would immediately get defensive. Then, she got the strange habit of including all the bad things that are happening at the moment behind her own argument.

It's actually quite funny watching her in motion.

I guess the news of me moving to a new place was strange. At first I was horrified at the thought of leaving my friends and enemies, but that emotion was quickly replaced with excitement. Of course, if it were a different place entirely, then I would be whining and throwing tantrums at my parents, thinking that I was the least lucky girl in the whole world.

Childish? Of course.

So, when I logged onto the _Twilight Lexicon_ that night, I found a small smile pasted on my lips; I was in anticipation of telling my fellow fan-mates where I would be moving. Finding, the _Eclipse_ section of the forum, I browsed through threads until a particular topic caught my eye. It was about the triangular relationship between Jacob, Edward and Bella of course. I was not surprised to see many people's complaints about the werewolf's impulsive kiss right before the battle of the newborns and the epilogue being in Jacob's point of view. Although, there were many people who had a bit of change of heart, like me, and said that they wanted Jacob to imprint on someone in the final chapter of Bella's life. _Would that happen?_ I mused as well.

Clicking the _search_ button near the top of the screen, I waited for the webpage to load while sketching idly on a sheet of scrap paper. My mind started to wander as it always did when it was bored. I started wondering about what Forks, Seattle, La Push, would look like. When the screen flashed to the search page, I typed in _Forks_ and waited for results. Happy to find the _Is there anyone from Forks?_ Thread at the top, I waited for the computer to show me the page and pressed reply. I was overjoyed to announce my happy news to everyone on the Lexicon. Turning to my desk to turn on a lamp, I saw my previous doodle. It might not have been the best drawing of my life, but it startled me out of my black swivel chair in astonishment.

Sketched on the paper was an eye, shaded to look dramatically horrifying. The funny thing was my arm reached for a golden yellow pencil crayon on its own. Without thinking, I began filling the pupils with deliberate shadows to accentuate every reflection. The more I worked on it, the more I thought about the characters. Somehow, I felt strongly about my sudden like towards Jacob Black. I could almost picture his physical features, but when I had focused on one part, other parts would get blurry, and I would never be able to piece all of his features together.

Soon, I was looking into a half finished, topaz eye. It seemed so real that I felt goose bumps all over my arm. The eye was looking at me accusingly, as if I was wrong to feel excited to be going to Forks at last. It felt like an omen, it was almost as if the owner of the eye was telling me not to go to the setting of _Twilight_ because of what I might find there, or what I might not find there. It felt like it was accusing me of liking Jacob Black.

**A/N: I really have to go, so, I'll explain a bit more about this when I get back... Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	3. REAL Chapter two

**A/N: Sorry for the short note yesterday. I had just finished my geography project, and had like only five minutes left of the period. So, I sneaked on, and rushed to post the story. ******** Anyways, as I said before, I thought of this story when I was rereading ****Eclipse****, well, most importantly, the epilogue. And, I just felt this tug toward talking about Jacob more and came up with this plan. Now, I shouldn't say anymore, or else I'll give everything away, but hopefully this is a good idea and a unique enough story to have people reading it and not banging at my door because I took one of their ideas! Oh, and thanks for the reviews everyone!**

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight****New Moon**** and ****Eclipse**** all belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me! If there is any similarity between my story and yours, I apologize wholeheartedly. I am in NO way of copying you. This idea is purely from my mind, and if any of it is like yours, it has been done accidentally (I don't have much time to read these days, I only read stories I have on alert, or authors I have on alert).**

Fourteen days later, I found myself sitting next to my mother on a plane to Port Angeles. I had my ipod turned to a moderately high volume so that I wouldn't be able to hear the obnoxiously loud snores of my father who sat behind us. I was excited, yet terrified at the same time. I was still somehow affected by the eye that I had drawn, often thinking it as a warning of some sort.

I didn't know why I still kept the eye. In fact, I put it up on the wall right next to my computer where I could generally see it every time I entered the room. Every time I looked in that direction I would be reminded whether or not it _was_ wise to go to Forks, La Push. But, always afterwards, I would brush it off and tell myself that I had already agreed to it.

Before leaving for the airport, I looked back into my room. And, surprise, surprise, I saw the golden eye. Yet again, I could only stare at it for a few moments, too caught up in its beauty and supernatural feeling to look away. I walked slowly up to it, and carefully peeled it off the wall and folded it into my sweater pocket. Why I did that? I have no idea what-so-ever.

On the plane, I took out the drawing yet again. It was certainly not perfect, but the broad, harsh imperfect strokes were what made the image strangely beautiful. A sudden voice beside me made me jump a mile.

"What's that Kara?" my curious mother asked, yanking my ear buds out.

"Nothing," I replied, and quickly shoved the drawing back into my pocket.

"Oh, Kara, just let me see it! It looked pretty good from where I'm sitting!"

"It's _nothing_," I insisted.

She frowned, "If it's nothing, why would you be hiding it from me?" _Oh gosh, how I hate it when people are so analytical about certain situations…_

"Because."

"Because _what_?" my mother argued back.

I glared at her, and then sighed in defeat. "Fine, here." I took out the now crumpled paper and gave it to my mom who smoothed it out with her delicate hands. I looked back out the window at the blue skies when I heard a slight intake of breath. Turning, I asked, annoyed, "What, mom?"

She was holding the paper arms length from her, and her face seemed shocked and appreciative. I glowered at the chair in front of me and snatched the paper away from my mother. "No," she cried, earning appraising looks the couple in front of us. She lowered her voice, "Kara, that's amazing!"

I shrugged, rolling my eyes. "You're just saying that."

My mother shook her hands out in front of her, looking as if she was dismissing a thought. "No, Kara, really, it looks so realistic!"

I just looked at her.

"Why on earth did you drop art in grade eight?" she pursued.

"Drama was the better choice," I answered in a steely tone.

"Don't talk to me like that!"

"Mom, what's your point?" I sighed again.

"My point is that you're really good. It looks so dramatic and-and _everything_!" She _looked _sane enough.

"Fine, okay, whatever," I said just to get back to how we had been before this unusual conversation.

"Kara, I want you to go into visual art in your new school."

"Sure, uh huh," I muttered, fishing out the dropped ear buds again. Then, I realized the real meaning of the words and doubled back. "What? Mom! I love drama!"

"But, your art is good too!"

I shook my head. "They'll have learnt stuff I haven't learned there!"

"Kara…" her voice was back to its warning tone.

I glared at her yet again, then finally backed down and said, "I'll think about it, alright?"

I could tell she wasn't really satisfied with the answer, but she dropped the topic and let me ignore her for the rest of the trip.

The next day when we had finally finished unpacking our stuff, I went outside for a walk to get a bit more used to the area before starting school the next day. My parents and I had had a quick dinner last night, and were too tired from the trip here to look around. And, after all the unpacking, all they wanted to do was sit on the couch and plan the next day's work while watching television. I had always been the more energetic one of the group, and curious too, I guess.

La Push wasn't that big, but it was _beautiful_. I had only to walk around a bit to see how handsome the trees around the town stood, protecting the people of the area. The air smelled of fresh nature, not the heavy pollution I was often disgusted by in my hometown of Manhattan. Ambling along, I saw little shops and stores and was tempted to enter one of them. The town was quiet, quite unlike the crude _beeps _that were always heard outside my old home; a quiet that I could get used to. It made me feel calm, but there was still a sense of mystery and excitement in the air.

It was close to evening, and the sun was already coming down. All around me; the shops, cars, people were surrounded by a halo of golden light emanating from everywhere. And, yet again, I felt a strong magical feeling wash over me as I looked around, entirely spellbound by the splendor of La Push. Then, I heard it. I heard the sound of water, of waves crashing against each other. I could smell a salty tang in the air as I turned toward the sound. And finally, I saw it. A place that had seemed stunning in _Twilight_, the whole magnificence of it stood before me when I twisted around to view it. I saw the beach.

The beach, of course, is nothing like the whole "meadow thing". But, it has always been second on my list. Many things happened there between Jacob and Bella, both incredulous, and melancholy. I have always thought that it would look attractive and splendid, just like all beaches did. And it was. It was as beautiful as ever, as ever in my imagination, and just like the image I always saw in my mind, but stunningly different at the same time. The yellow-orange sun was just touching the horizon line where sky and water met. I was awestruck and blown away by the sight.

I stood there, with my mouth hanging open, long after the sun had set, running the picture of the beach over and over in my mind.

**A/N: AH! I apologize for the short chapter (um, chapter**_**s**_** since the first one was pretty short as well), but Kara will be starting school in the next one, so watch out! I know, this last one was a bit boring, but I needed to set the scene for upcoming ones. Reviews are still, as ever, greatly appreciated!**


	4. REAL Chapter Three

**A/N: Wow, for once, I don't really have anything to say in my author's note! That's a surprise! I might be updating more often now, because I have exams. Wait, that doesn't make sense does it? I'll explain. See, I simply **_**need**_** to take breaks between studying for my numerous exams, so, I can write in those breaks, right? Rightey-o. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own ****Twilight****New Moon****, and/or ****Eclipse**

Okay, problem. What do I wear?

Next problem, do I bring anything? Anything at all?

I'd never been to another school before, so I found myself facing many open-ended questions the morning of my first day at a new school located at a place that I was not used to, while these questions might seem silly to many, to me, first impressions have always been important. I stared at my too small closet in my unusually –for me- small bedroom, hands poised at my waist, wondering what on earth I definitely _shouldn't_ wear. Actually, I was more like glowering at my messily arranged clothes.

I sighed and finally decided on what I had laid out the night before. I changed and sat on my bed, propping a pillow to support my head. I had deliberately woken up early to have plenty of time to get ready in case I suddenly needed anything. It was a strange experience for me, but I wanted it to go as smoothly as possible.

As usual, when I got bored, my mind wandered. I had read enough fan fictions on the internet to sometimes fantasize what it would be like for _me_ to meet a character. I was certain that it would never happen, so, imagining it would be the closest thing to meeting them! After all, I was in La Push, the _actual_ La Push! Who knows what will ever happen?

Hearing the sound of my parents' alarm clock going off, I sighed and decided to do something productive instead of making myself anxious with first-day-in-a-new-school jitters. I opened the bedroom door and skipped down the short flight of stairs to the kitchen. I tossed my hair into a high pony-tail and flung open the refrigerator door for some eggs and butter. Picking out the pan from its hook beside the stove, I placed it on the stove and turned towards the eggs. Soon, I had a big pile of scrambled eggs on a plate and some sausages cooking neatly on the pan.

"Well, this is a nice surprise," my mother declared from the bottom of the stairs, startling me. She was in her bath robe and was yawning as she smiled sleepily at me.

"Yup," I nodded, "but…I don't think this will turn into a habit."

She laughed. There was a comfortable silence for a while as she watched me pile the sausages onto another plate. "So, are you ready for school?" she suddenly asked, eyes darting to my face.

I shrugged. "I guess."

My mom sighed and walked over to place her hands on my shoulder. "Look, Kara, I know how hard it is for you. We're sorry that we didn't tell you that we'd be moving, sooner. I just want you to understand that we feel that you've been very understanding, and we will make it up to you!" She squeezed my shoulders motherly, "I promise you."

I turned with a soft smile on my lips. "I know Mom, I do."

She looked at me for a while longer and then smiled too, and headed back to the stairs muttering, "Oh, my baby Kara's grown so big now."

I knew she deliberately said that to lighten up the atmosphere. "Mo-om!"

She chuckled, as she made her way up the stairs.

----------

School in La Push wasn't really that different, I was pleased to find. Only, everything was smaller, _way_ smaller. Of course, being in an entirely different state helped the difference. I took deep calming breaths before thanking my mother for the ride, and then proceeding to the main office. It wasn't hard to find, since it was right next to the main front doors. The halls were mostly deserted since I was still quite a bit early.

The secretary, a kind, middle-aged lady, beamed warmly up from where she sat, as I entered the small room. "How may I help you, dear?" she asked when she saw me idle uncomfortably near the door, wondering what I should do.

I shuffled closer to the desk. "Um, hi, I'm, ah, Kara Laurier, I'm new, and I-I was told to come to the main office when I arrived here?"

She smiled. "Yes, of course, I have your name just here." She searched through a thin stack of papers, and handed me a sheet. Standing up and leaning closer, she circled a name and a room number. "Your home room teacher is Monsieur Dubois, who is also your French teacher, if you take French this year." She paused to offer me another reassuring smile and pointed to the room number. "That is the room number. Your schedule and locker number will be handed out to you this morning at home form."

I thanked her, and stumbled back into the hall. It had filled out with teenagers laughing and chatting about their past summer. When I walked past, I could feel heads turning and mouths talking. I sighed inwardly; my arrival sure did create a stir in the air. As I walked to the room I was assigned to, I noticed people pointing, looking, at me. It wasn't that hard to notice. The teenagers were pointing and didn't really stare discreetly enough for me to not be aware of their actions.

Rolling my eyes, as I neared the classroom, I found myself smiling in spite of myself. It was apparent how I didn't really fit in. I was sure that everyone in the high school had gone to kindergarten, then junior school, junior high and then now, high school together. It probably wasn't often that a new kid would show up at the beginning of each year.

I pasted a confident smile on my face, and straightened my back, so that I forced myself to walk steadily, and entered my classroom. There were those constant stares as I greeted the man in front of the room, who I suspected was Monsieur Dubois, with a quick polite smile. And, he led me to an empty seat near the back next to a talkative blond haired boy named Austin who sat sprawled, arms and legs all over the small space he had, making his chair look small. He was talking to a group of people around him, animatedly, his hands making gestures as he talked. It seemed that he was in the centre of attention and liked it. "And, I was just sitting there, looking at him. I couldn't believe what I said!"

Already getting tired of his voice, I tugged my messenger bag off of me and fished out a thoroughly decorated notebook and added more graffiti to its cover with the attached pen. It was when I heard a chair beside me scrape annoyingly that I looked up to glare at the newcomer for being so disruptive. At the same time I heard a jovial yell across the room, "Jake! We're in same home room." _Jake_… My head snapped to the boy beside me. My eyes widened, and I gaped at the boy sitting next to me, looking so much _bigger_ than the rest of the male student body here. With his long jet black hair, tanned skin and dark eyes he looked so…_familiar_. And, when my mind registered as to why he would look familiar, I gasped out loud and looked quickly down at my notebook again, thoughts spinning in a mad stir, thinking, _It can't be him. It simply can't. It's not possible._

**A/N: Short chapter, sorry. I'm happy to have finally introduced Jacob in this chapter! There'll be more Jacob action in the next one! Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	5. REAL Chapter Four

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! I have a problem. I can't seem to write longer chapters for this story. I've been trying, but I just can't for some weird reason! Maybe there's something wrong with me… :D I'm so happy these days! Everyday, it's one less exam (three down, four more to go!) and one day closer to CHRISTMAS BREAK!!! YES!**

**Disclaimer: I do ****NOT**** own ****Twilight****New Moon****, and/or ****Eclipse****. The incredibly gifted Stephenie Meyer does, and shall always.**

_It can't be him. It simply can't. It's not possible._

But, it was. The details and flawless similarity from book to person was proof. His name even, was a clue. Even as he sat beside me, and when I stole little glances at him, his presence just shouted, _I am Jacob Black!_ Yet, as much as I wanted to believe, I just couldn't bring myself to overlook the pure logic of it all. _It simply couldn't be possible._ He was a fictional character from a book I just happened to love. _This isn't real._ I'm just waiting for everyone to burst out laughing and point at me saying, "You've just been _punked_!" or something like that. _What is happening to me? Am I going crazy?_ Though, I've always had the slightest suspicion that I was crazy. And, maybe, possibly I had somehow done something to myself to make myself lose a part of my sanity in my childhood years. It _is _possible, I'm sure.

I concentrated on just doodling for a while, listening to the classroom sounds, trying hard not to concentrate on the boy next to me. Then, it hit me. Everything, from my superstitions two weeks ago about the golden eye to just five minutes ago when the _random_ teenage boy entered the room, suddenly seemed ridiculous. Why on earth _would_ Jacob Black be in the real world? He's in a _fictitious novel_ for goodness sakes! Was _Twilight_ really going to rule my life, and make me jump at anything -which is almost everything- that relates to the book? I squared my shoulders unknowingly. _But_,_ what if…what if they _are_ real?_ Another side of my mind argued,_ What if all the characters do exist in the world, and I might just happen to meet-?_

_There've always been many buts and what ifs, _I chided myself. I picked up my Nalgene bottle, unscrewed the lid, and took a sip of water. Then picked up my pen again, and started drawing out harsh deliberate strokes. _I won't,_ I decided firmly, forcing the other side away. _I won't let myself be swayed by just any little thing_. I continued shouting at myself inwardly, pressing too hard with my pen on the notebook cover, leaving a big, ugly indent which in turn made me curse out loud. _Besides,_ I added, _there are probably lots of Jacob's in the world. I just heard his first name, his last name probably isn't even Black!_

And, as if I wanted to prove myself, I turned abruptly, and, was going to catch his attention when I looked right straight into the eyes of "Jacob Black". The moment my light blue eyes met his dark ones, Jacob looked away and back down to the paper in front of him, peering a little too intently at it for me not to notice. Then, even with all my strength poured into not letting myself be drawn in, I forgot all that I'd promised myself, and blurted out my first mistake of many to come, "You're Jacob Black."

He looked up and I saw a bit of confusion pass through his eyes. Then, his face broke into a light smile, though the smile didn't really reach his eyes. "Yes, I am."

"The _real_ Jacob Black?" I asked, without thinking.

He raised his eyebrows most probably wondering whether there was another. "Sure," he finally offered.

"Cool," I replied, already feeling the blush rise up on my cheeks. In an attempt to hide my discomfort, I held out a hand and said, "I'm Kara, how do you do?"

He looked at me strangely and then answered, pointedly avoiding my hand, "I'm good."

I would have continued the conversation, but Monsieur Dubois took the opportunity then to hand out schedules and locker numbers, so I kept my comments to myself. As I opened my ratty old locker, I saw, with apparent disappointment, that Jacob's locker wasn't close to mine at all. But, that would make sense since his surname started with a _B_ and mine with an _L_.

The rest of the day passed almost without incident. Of course, when I scanned my schedule, I found, instead of Drama, Visual Art. _Thanks Mom_. I was happy to find that I had home form and two other classes with Jacob; Math and English though. Somehow, we ended up sitting next to each other for all of them. By then though, the embarrassment of the morning's conversation had caught up to me, and I found myself blushing at his every gesture and movement. I kept my eyes at my own desk, unable to look at him, afraid of another outburst from my more confident side that would add to the humiliation. But, I needn't have worried, since it wasn't me who picked up our conversation next, it was Jacob.

"So," he began, the third day's lunch, when we were waiting outside, eating, "how did you know my name?"

I jumped; startled that he was talking to me. "I-I," I hesitated, not knowing whether I should tell him that his life's story was written in a book, "heard it."

He looked at me to go on.

"I heard it when you were up at Monsieur Dubois' desk. I heard your name somewhere in there."

He gave me a skeptical stare, wondering how on earth I managed that seeing as we were sitting at the back of the room. I shrugged in reply. There was a brief uncomfortable silence that would have been made comfortable if someone talked. And, as if he sensed that, he asked, "Where did you come from?"

It first occurred to me as rude, but when I looked back into the face of Jacob Black, I saw a sincere face. "I'm from New York; Manhattan to be exact."

"That's a bit far from here."

"Yeah… I'd lived all my life." All at once, memories of my friends flooded my brain, and I had to focus to keep sudden tears in.

"You miss them." It wasn't a question, but rather simply stated like that.

I nodded, not daring to speak, though already feeling the tears rolling down my cheeks. Blindly searching for tissue in my bag, I suddenly had the urge to run away, and just lock myself in a bathroom or something. A tissue was handed to me by a tan hand. I looked up to see Jacob, face hard, but not unsmiling.

"I can relate to that." His eyes were suddenly dazed. And we turned, looking at the laughing teenagers around us. "But, it never really occurred to me that it might have been good."

"What do you mean?"

He looked me in the eye, and then sighed. "Nothing."

I frowned, having recovered from my sad moment. "Then, it's probably one of those "guy things" that, supposedly, a girl like me wouldn't understand," I grumbled mockingly, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

He smiled. "And, why would you immediately assume that?"

"_I_," I started importantly, stressing the syllable, "have too many male cousins to count." I rolled my eyes. "Each time my sister, Emma, and I _try_ –don't say we don't try hard enough, because we do- when we try to play, chat, _whatever _with them, they all ignore us and when we ask why they say it's a "guy thing" when it's really just them going upstairs to one of their rooms and playing Playstation, and leaving us to fend for ourselves in _their_ house! Well, I'm happy to say that we're just as capable of beating a video game as male people."

"I bet you're not," a voice suddenly butted in.

I twisted around to glare at the person who had _dared_ contradict me. There were two boys, both as _big_ as Jacob, but not quite as tall. I could see muscular hands holding textbooks and lunches. The speaker, I was certain since there was a wide smug look about his face, was the shorter of the two who had closely cut hair. Confused as to who he was, I turned to Jacob for an answer.

"Quil," he muttered to me.

I grinned, recognizing the character from _New Moon _and _Eclipse. _I sensed the challenge that Quil had presented. "And, why would that be, Quil?" I asked smoothly.

"Because you're a girl."

"Oh, thanks for the good explanation," I replied sarcastically. "Well, I bet you I am just as good, if not _better_ than you!"

The boy behind him rolled his eyes, probably, having heard many bets made in a similar fashion.

"How much are you willing to bet?" Quil asked, interested.

"Twenty and a week's worth of lunches," I replied, grinning wickedly.

He choked, "S-seven lunches? And twenty bucks?"

"What, are you too _chicken_ to do this?" I demanded.

"No!"

"Good, you're on!" I looked at Jacob and the other boy. "And, you two will be witness." The deal was set for a month later at my own house.

----------

I was soon settled into the werewolf bunch and was often sought after by Quil when he wanted to prove himself by settling something with a bet or dare. Embry was a bit more conscious of the fact that I was a girl, and was a bit more polite than his outgoing friend. I could see how he and Quil evened each other out with their slight differences. Jacob, on the other hand, seemed more serious. It was probably because of what had happened between him and Bella that affected him so.

There were times when I could see Embry and Quil exchange knowing looks that weren't meant for my eyes. Each time that happened, I wanted to tell Jacob that I understood his pain, or at least understood why he felt it. But, every time I gathered enough courage to bring up the topic, I would stop myself, too afraid of seeing what would happen if I did. Maybe, I didn't want to see Jacob's already solemn face contorted with pain from the broken heart he suffered. Or, maybe I was just being selfish, and I didn't want my new friendship to end; or to break apart because of all the things I did know about them. I'd like to believe it was the former suggestion, but it was probably more the latter.

I was accompanied from class to class with at least one of the three best friends. I was grateful towards their kind actions; it let me feel relieved that I had fit into La Push so easily. Which caused me to think, even more so, how selfish I was being for keeping what I knew a secret. I kept reminding myself that it was because I didn't want Jacob hurt again, but I was never sure.

**A/N: Hope you liked it! I certainly enjoyed writing it! Hope for a longer chapter next time, because I think there's something **_**seriously **_**wrong with me, I can't write long chapters for this fan fiction! Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	6. REAL Chapter Five

**A/N: EXAMS ARE OVER! YES! Okay, I thought that I'd just get that out of the way, since I know I would shout it sometime in this author's note! I don't know why, but fanfiction dot net experienced some logging in issues, so, I couldn't reply to some reviews, but for this next chapter I'll reply, because many of you have interesting things to say! But, just to tell TeamSwitzerland something; your review wasn't long at all. I'm glad you liked it, and this story does have the concept of 'imprinting' in it, but no actual 'imprinting' will be in it…I hope! I've planned the ending and a path in which I could lead the plot to the ending, but I haven't really found out the details of the story yet! I like to write with whatever comes to mind, and let the story flow on its own. AUGH! This note's so long! I'll get to the story now!****I hope you all like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own ****Twilight****New Moon**** and/or ****Eclipse**

Jacob and my friendship grew. It wasn't always by a significant amount, but when you stepped back to look at it, anyone could see that just over those few weeks, we had gotten to be steady friends. I enjoyed his company, even if he was a silent friend. I looked to him for help, and he was always one to rush to my aid, sort of like my knight in shining armour, I guess you could say. In return, I hoped to be patient enough for him when he was in pain, sullen from a reminder of _her_.

We were constantly with each other, talking, smiling, and him making me laugh. I wanted to see him laugh though. Not just any laugh, but I wanted to see real happiness, or even liveliness, in those beautiful dark eyes. I wanted to see for myself what the old Jacob, before he was caught up in everything from the Cullens to even just being a werewolf, what he would look like, grinning at me. And, how I would react to his forbidden emotion; would I be unable to stop myself from grinning back, like Bella? Or, would it be something else entirely?

----------

"NOOOOO!"

"YES!" I shrieked, pumping both fists into the air in triumph. The three werewolves and I were in my home, going on with our little deal. Quil had been too arrogant and let me choose the game I was best at, not knowing how many times I had beaten Final Fantasy XII. I grinned. "Admit it, Quil. I'm better at this than you!" I teased.

"No, I'm just getting warmed up!" he retorted, restarting the game for the third time. "And anyways, it wasn't fair!"

I nodded, rolling my eyes. "Right, and in what way was it unfair? I mean, you did say that _I_ could choose the game…"

He glowered at the carpet beneath him in a wolfish manner. I heard Embry laugh. Quil paused the video game and twisted around to scowl at his friend. "Hey! I thought you were supposed to be on _my_ side!"

Embry swatted at Quil's head. "Oh, quit complainin'!"

I smirked and held out a hand, palm up. "Pay up!"

"Humph," he turned to the game again, apparently deciding to ignore me.

"Fine," I said, walking over to his backpack. I rummaged through the crumpled handouts and mistreated textbooks. I gave a cry of success when I found something valuable enough for Quil to concentrate on what I had to say. Swinging his wallet and cell phone right in front of his eyes as he jerked around getting into the game, I continued, "I wonder what I'll find here?" I ran away laughing, hearing the sounds of footsteps following.

They were fast, _of course_. I hid in the big shed behind the house, quickly turning on the cell phone while fumbling with the wallet to count the money in it. I heard the door open and huddled against the broom closet, hoping the shadows would protect me from view. What I forgot was the fact that werewolves had a very good sense of smell. The shadow of the person loomed closer as I tried desperately to think of an escape route. When he got close enough though, he clutched my hand tight in his and lifted me up to my feet. "Busted," I muttered, aware of his warm hand on mine.

"Not quite," the shadow's face started to make sense when I was standing on my two feet. It was Jacob. "Now," he whispered, hot breath fazing me for a few seconds before I noticed that he was speaking to me.

"Yes?" I mumbled.

"If we split the money and lunches, I'll help you, deal?"

I stared at him, horrified. _What?_

"What?" he asked, looking worried at the disbelief on my face. It was then that I realized the wide smile on his face, and understood his evil plan. _He was having fun!_ I rejoiced as I saw his eyes lit with small happiness. "Kara?" He took my shoulders, trying to shake me out of my reverie. "Are you okay?"

I pushed his arms away, blinking furiously. "Uh, yeah, sure I-"

"I FOUND THEM!"

I heard wild footsteps toward the door of the old shed. Jacob and I turned to look at the door. Embry stood there eyes wide, and mouth slowly curving into a wide grin. Quil almost knocked into his friend, until he saw us standing together and just stopped and stared. "Jacob, Jacob, Jacob," Quil made a _tsk_ing sound.

I looked over at Jacob, confused, and then absentmindedly down at our hands that had somehow found their way together again. _Together…_ my eyes widened as the meaning of their words slowly made sense. Startled, I broke free from Jacob's grip and jumped as far back as I could, bumping my head against the broom closet. Cursing loudly, I dropped Quil's cell phone and wallet and bent down, groaning in pain, hands clutching my head.

Quil and Embry, seemingly oblivious to my moaning, shuffled away with silly grins plastered all over their sick-minded faces. Jacob, embarrassed, knelt down asking, "Um, Kara, are you alright?"

I dropped my head so that my hair would cover my blushing face. "No," I admitted, cursing even more so when I tried to move my head, but instead caused it to throb even more painfully, "I am not."

"Here," he said, "let's get some ice." Jacob offered an arm which I took gratefully, not daring to know how I would feel standing on my own. It was the first time he had ever actually offered a hand to me. Many times our hands would brush against each others, but no real contact was made. His hand was, of course, scorching hot, as if he had a blazing fever. When I laced my fingers with his, I felt something that I'd probably dreamed of, but never thought would happen. My heart beat three times as fast as normal. I hoped that Jacob didn't notice, but my face gave me away by blushing crimson the moment our hands touched, recognizing the feeling pushing its way throughout me. _Oh god, this can't be happening._

I'd read it all in books of course, and I'd even imagined, dreamed, of similar scenes in my head, but I never would have thought it would happen to me. I never thought I would fall for someone like they do in books, movies. It was almost like a chick flick romance scene except with a werewolf instead of a pop star that can't really act but everyone loves him since he's _OHMIGAWD _so_ cute!!!_ I admit though, I did come here, to La Push, feeling a little in love with Jacob already, but my heart never beat so fast when I saw him. I never had a sudden dry throat making it hard to speak to him. I was always just curious.

The signs were there. But, it made it so much more difficult knowing his heart belonged to another. I could never have a place there. Even with all that knowledge, that convincing evidence, I still couldn't help admire the way his hair turned into a halo of a dark, rusty auburn colour in the sun. Or, how his face would scrunch up when he concentrated on a math problem. As much as I knew it was hopeless, I would constantly catch myself looking at him, daydreaming about anything to do with him. Although, I knew he was taken, psychologically, and that I could never be more for him, unless I was his imprinting partner, which I wasn't, seeing as he thinks of me only as a friend.

The words that meant so much were in my head, but I could never say it out loud. Somehow, it almost seemed as if I was afraid that if I said it out loud, it would be official, and Jacob would know. I didn't want to bother Jacob anymore than I already have. I could never say them out loud. But at night, I looked out my window to see a full moon glimmering in the sky and I whispered to myself, knowing the truth and reason behind every word; _I love you Jacob Black._

**A/N: AHHHH! I need to write. I'm on the verge of madness with how this story's coming out! Well, I'll be sure to update more often since there's ONLY TWO MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT FOR ME! YES! And, exams are over! Maybe, I'll write today and post s'more tomorrow!**

**Reviews are as always greatly appreciated by me.**


	7. REAL Chapter Six

**A/N: Agh! I'm so sorry everyone! I know, I know, I sort of promised you guys a chapter on Sunday, and it's been ahm…a week and a couple o' hours? (ashamed look) I'm so sorry, really! Stupid writer's block! This whole chapters….**_**meh **_**good…ish. It's all full of fluff. (sighs) **_**Curses**_**! Oh, by the way, thanks for all your reviews! Love you all! Hope you like this one!**

**Disclaimer: It's the same as before… I don't own the ****Twilight**** series.**

The bell hadn't rung yet, but there were already many people milling about, joking, laughing, getting ready for school. It was November and already I had proven myself to be a part of their daily lives. I wasn't popular exactly, not that I was in my old school, but I could live with my status. People would greet me politely, chatter around me. I was finally accepted. Not only by Jacob and his friends, but by the whole school.

I turned around, smiling happily to myself, to see Embry and Quil right in front of me, crowding around me. They looked even more dangerous up-close but their nervous shifting eyes gave away their nervousness. "What's up?" I asked them cheerfully. Quil looked at Embry meaningfully, probably urging his friend to speak first. Embry took a deep breath. I waited, waiting for a rant or reason behind all this fuss. There was nothing. I looked at them quizzically. "What's the matter?" I repeated.

"We want to talk about Jacob," Quil blurted out.

I looked at him while processing the information. "Jacob," I mused.

"Yes, him, the tall long haired dude?"

I smiled. "Oh, I know him." I frowned then. "What about him?"

This time it was Embry who replied. "W-we want to talk about your…relationship with him."

I stared at him and then twisted my head to stare at Quil. "What?"

"We want to tell you something." Embry's voice was almost pleading. They were afraid of something I realized.

"Sure," I answered lightly, watching them closely. At the same moment, the first bell rang disrupting our sudden serious conversation. "Look, how about we talk about it sometime else? Like after school today? At the beach?"

They looked relieved. Embry nodded. "That'd be great."

"Okay," I slammed my ratty locker shut and walked stiffly to the classroom aware of their gazes on my back. I had a feeling what they wanted to talk about.

----------

"First of all," I said as Embry and Quil stopped before me, "we don't have _a_ relationship." It was after school and we were standing on the warm tan of sand at the beach. "Jacob and I," _Oh, god, why do I enjoy the words _Jacob and I_ sound together…_, "We are friends. Nothing more, nothing less."

Quil rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, we both know how you look at him. And that day, at your place, it was just obvious." Embry just shifted anxiously behind him.

I sighed. "Fine, I do _like_ like him, but Jacob doesn't know anything about it," I gave them a warning look. "Besides, what's it to you?"

Quil waved his hands in front of him. "Oh, don't get us wrong, there's nothing _bad_ about it… In fact, we think that you've been a great help. He's happier these days, more like his old self. It's just, well-" He broke off, the uncertainty returning.

"Well?"

They looked at each other, insisting with their eyes on the other to speak. Embry cleared his throat. "We-we have something we want to tell you, that we think you ought to know."

"Go ahead," I was getting impatient.

Embry took a deep breath. "There was a girl."

"A girl," I raised my eyebrows.

"Her name was-is Bella."

Quil turned to look at the crashing waves and added, "Jacob loved her."

"Very much," the other boy informed me.

"I suppose," I said slowly, trying to comprehend the sudden confrontation, "that something happened. Something that hurt Jacob. And, you're warning me to not ever hurt him."

"It's kinda hard to explain."

"You're worried," I continued. "You guys are good enough friends to worry about me hurting him." My eyes softened. "And, I'm sure if I ever did, if I…would…you two would never forgive me."

Quil spoke up. "Bella was-"

"I don't have to know what happened," I interrupted. "It's in the past, it _happened_. I care, but even if you said anything, it wouldn't matter, since I won't hurt him." I looked at the two werewolves seriously, holding their gazes for a moment before adding, "I won't hurt Jacob."

----------

So, Bella was finally introduced to me that day at the beach. I was waiting for the moment she would turn up, come up in conversations. I guess I waited long enough for her to show up. I honestly don't know what to say. It gives more evidence that Embry, Quil and Jacob are in fact from the _Twilight_ series. But, somehow I have this aching feeling. When I heard Bella's name, it reminded me of my position in the relationship with Jacob. The past few days I had been pretending that nothing happened. That, I hadn't realized my sudden erupting feelings towards the werewolf. But, who am I kidding? Of course it's there. Everything always catches up to you.

----------

"Hey."

I looked up to be greeted with a small smile from Jacob. It was last period English and our teacher Ms Henderson was usually late. "Hey yourself."

"Man, that essay took all night," he said dropping his books onto the desk next to me.

"Well, if you'd only done it sooner," I reminded him.

He looked at me, scowling. "I didn't have time, unlike Miss Perfect here."

"Right, Mr. Busy," I rolled my eyes. "You were probably just doing some guy thing."

"I was working on a project."

"Heh, a project? Really…" I shook my head and couldn't help but make soft _tsk_ing sounds at the same time.

Jacob shot me a look. "I was fixing a car that I built myself," he said proudly.

_Oh right, he was building a car in the series._ "What car?" I asked, still playing my role in the conversation.

"A Volkswagen Rabbit."

"No way. What year?" My dad had gotten me interested in cars a few years ago, back when I still believed in quality time with parents.

"1986."

"You built it?" I asked trying to sound incredulous.

"Yeah," he replied lightly, "it was more like fixing it from the scraps I found of the original thing. But, yeah, I built it."

"Can I see it?"

"Sure, it's at home. I usually ride my bike to school."

"I'm sure it's so much more _convenient_. And, it also helps your student status in the school," I said, with a touch sarcasm.

"Hey, hey…knock it off!"

"But its true though, isn't it?" I smiled mischievously at him.

"A bit," he admitted. He quickly changed the subject, causing me to smirk, "When will you be coming over?"

"How 'bout today? There hasn't been that much homework given and I've finished most of the projects and assignments assigned." I grinned. "Unlike you."

----------

I've read the books from cover to cover more than twice, except for Eclipse, which I haven't dared to touch since I came here, to La Push; since I met Jacob. Perhaps I've been _afraid_ of finding those details, of reading about someone I know, seeing his life's story written out in plain black ink against the white paper in a five hundred paged book.

Although, I've always wondered how everything would look like. I've been to the beach; I've seen a couple of cliffs. I could picture where everything took place in the books and even picture how the characters would stand and talk to each other. This always brings about a smile to my face. It's funny, because I don't think about Jacob Black, or even his friends to be mere characters anymore. They've been a big enough part of my life; I've known them enough to think of them as real people. Oh, pardon me, _werewolves_ I mean.

They're real creatures with feelings and not just some description on a page in a book anymore. _They're real_. I sometimes wonder if I'm just wandering around in a too long dream. Maybe I'm unconscious somewhere or even still at home, in New York, dreaming about all this. I've been tempted to pinch myself, to really see if it _is_ real. But, I could never bring myself to do it. It seems ridiculous why on earth I wouldn't even try it. However, to me, it's just been too great a vision. So, what if it is just _a dream_? What if it _is_ just a scene, picture, movie that my mind has created? I don't care. I don't want to pinch myself awake; I'm having to great a dream, too great a time in this reverie to wake myself right now.

**A/N: Oh, I love that last paragraph! It's just so…personal… Okay, that's not the best word for how I feel about it, but eh heh…. I'll try to update soon. And, have a merry Christmas everyone! Maybe you guys will get an update as a present…? Maybe…it all depends on my stupid mind. Anyhow, reviews are deeply valued. (heh, just thought I'd change it up a bit!)**


	8. REAL Chapter Seven

**A/N: YES! Made it! So…everyone… this is the Christmas present I sort of promised you guys! Okay… right now it's not yet 11:00 pm December 25****th****. I know It's a bit late, but MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Free hugs and virtual candy canes for everyone! This chapter's a bit random, but hey, you need some once in a while eh? I think. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Even though it's Christmas and all, and I really like the ****Twilight**** series, it doesn't belong to me. Wow, how did I just link Christmas and ****Twilight****? Meh, I'm just so random sometimes. Wait, if I admit it then… EEP!**

The first time I was at Jacob's house was just to drop off something he had forgotten at school. I had fidgeted nervously in front of the door and had been a bit worried with confronting Jacob's dad. I'm not a shy person, but he was, after all, another character from _Twilight_. So, I had been thankful when it was Jacob who had opened the door. Wordlessly, probably because I hadn't know what to say, I had handed over his stuff and turned to leave when I'd heard it, a sound coming from behind me.It had sounded real, genuine, happy, and different from what I had ever heard from Jacob.

I should have known the moment the sound rang in my ears that it couldn't have _possibly_ been Jacob. The voice sounded like him, yet it wasn't. However, the pure ringing of the laughter made me feel giddy for a second, giddy with hope, hope for a change of the forever sullen expression smoldered onto the boy's face. I had looked over at the werewolf, searching for the source of the happy sound. But, his face was immobile with the same, constant blankness stretched across his features. I had frowned, wondering who was laughing, but turned to leave.

----------

"I'm home," he called out.

I expected to hear some footsteps or a bang to know that someone else was here. Instead, I heard a faint whirring sound come from a room down the main hallway. _Billy_. "How was school?" a man in his fifties came into view on a _wheelchair_. He saw me and then squeaked to a stop. "Who's this, Jacob?"

"School was fine," Jacob's voice came, muffled, from the kitchen to my right. I hadn't noticed him move from beside me. "She's-"

"I'm Kara," I said quickly, not wanting to seem rude to be just staring at Billy. I held out a hand.

Billy looked taken aback for a moment but then took my hand and shook it. I wasn't surprised to feel a firm grip and a rough, calloused hand from Jacob's father. "Pleased to meet you," he said, nodding pleasantly.

"Same here," I smiled warmly.

Jacob came into the hall again holding a piece of bread and an apple. "Come on," he gestured stiffly to me to follow him. I wondered why he seemed so different around his father.

We went out the front door and Jacob took his motorcycle and pushed it through a narrow path that lead to the back of the house. I could see a shed-like garage that was half opened, revealing two visible tires, a wrench on the floor and some gloves. I stopped in front of it, turning to Jacob, unsure of what to do next. He went ahead and easily lifted the garage door with seemingly no strength at all. I rolled my eyes. "Show off."

"Pardon me?" he asked, grinning down at me. I would have been shocked to see the carefree, smug look on his face if it were last week, but by now I had seen many glimpses of his face, untroubled. The past week and a bit have been different, very different from the first week of school. It was as if that day at my house was a signal for a change upon Jacob. I could see, bit by bit, pieces of the old Jacob returning with just flashes of brilliant grins, or even touches of sarcasm hear and there. Embry and Quil were happy; I was happy. In fact, I had never been happier in my life to see Jacob finally in high spirits again. Well, not all the time, there were still some moments when he would have a blank or pained expression on his face.

"Whatever," I waved a hand nonchalantly at him, glowering at the ground.

"I thought I heard something though," he looked like he was trying to seem _so_ innocent.

I scoffed, but deftly put a straight face. "I didn't say anything."

"Really?" He gave me a mischievous smile.

I backed away. "Jacob," my voice was warning. I had a feeling what he would do. So, I quickly reached his backpack and stifled through his things before finding what I wanted. I could practically hear the _ka-ching_ sound in Jacob's head.

"Give it back."

This time I grinned, preparing myself to run away. "No way, there's money in here, and I'm keeping it."

"Hey." I could see the smile even though, what I had was important.

"How much do you have in here anyways?" I pretended to sound interested.

Jacob stopped. "I wouldn't do anything to you," he reasoned, holding his hands in an I-surrender way.

"Right," I gave him a skeptical look. "It's just like Darth Vader saying to Luke, 'Come over to the dark side, we've got… candy!"

"Now, Kara, I wouldn't do anything bad to you, would I?" I smiled despite myself. "See?" he said, catching my smile, "You even know that yourself." He advanced towards me.

"No way, nuh uh," I shook my head. But, I was wrong, he shuffled slowly to his right while still facing me and looking amused at my expression. He bent down, eyes still on me, but looking downright happy at my cowardly self. "W-wait… Jacob, what are you going to do?" Jacob laughed, carelessly tossing his long hair away from his eyes. "No, no, no, no…w-wait." He held up a hose and made a big show of turning it on. "JACOB!" I screamed, throwing his wallet to the dirt ground and running away as I heard the first sounds of water coming from the hose. However, as much as I wanted to get away before the freezing cold, I was sure; water could soak me, a powerful splurge of water hit me.

I thrashed around, laughing and racing towards Jacob to snatch the hose from him. "Gimme that!" I yelled, shaking water from my hair.

He snickered. "No way!" But, I somehow twisted the hose so that the mouth faced Jacob's own before he could say anything else, resulting in him swallowing a lot of water and him getting revenge on me.

We were both soaked and crazy with laughter by the time we put away the water hose and plopped down on his small porch for the setting sun to help dry us off. I couldn't help but admire the handsome look of a wet Jacob along the way. _Gosh, I'm just as bad as Emma is with Jon, _I thought in a mix of disgust and, strangely enough, flighty happiness.Before long, the sound of a wheelchair whirring its way to us caught my attention and I turned around to see Billy with a surprised look on his face, staring at Jacob, who was laughing at my wet look. The action, however, of me turning around made Jacob look back and see his father's incredulous look.

For a minute, the three of us were frozen like that; Billy looking at his son, Jacob looking back at his father, and me, looking, awkwardly, from father to son. It was broken when Billy, with a soft smile on his face, turned his wheelchair around and wheeled himself back into the house. All was silent, until, "Sorry about my dad."

I looked at Jacob, noting that only a hint of the previous happiness was left. "He seems so nice and caring. There's nothing to be sorry about." I smiled tentatively. He returned it with a small smile of his own. "Now," I said, grabbing his wallet and changing the topic quickly, "let's see what else is in here other than money."

"What?" Jacob looked startled.

"You were mighty concerned about this little thing." I waved his wallet before his eyes. I giggled and threw myself off the wooden steps and ran away as fast as I can, while opening the wallet.

I stopped.

What made me stop wasn't because of Jacob catching up to me, or because I almost tripped on a twisted tree root on the ground. But, it was because of a girl staring at me with her chestnut brown eyes. She was pretty in an average way. Her heart-shaped face was surrounded by straight brown hair billowing in the wind. She looked like she was laughing about something off to the side, away from the camera's view. I didn't have to turn to Jacob for a name; the name popped into my mind just as I registered her appearance. _Isabella Swan_.

**A/N: So, you like? I like, I think. Reviews are like gifts to me, so… now that I've given you a gift, should you…? Heh, it doesn't matter! I'm happy to make someone's day by updating! Merry Christmas everyone, eat loads and have fun! Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	9. REAL Chapter Eight

**A/N: Wowee! Thanks for all those review everyone! I'm so glad you all like it! And, and, AND it's New Year's Even tonight. So… maybe think of this as a New Year's present? Gosh, aren't I so nice? (Grins) Okay, fine, don't think of this like that if you don't want to. This following chapter took a big chunk of time… GAH I'm so frustrated with it! It's definitely not one of my better chapters, and it has a bit of fluff in the middle which maybe shouldn't be there since this whole chapter is sort of serious… And now I feel like I'm under so much pressure with all of you reading and reviewing! I LOVE YOU ALL THOUGH! **

**Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own the ****Twilight**** series. Don't sue me!**

The world was spinning around me too much, too fast. I've lost control of myself. I want it to stop; I _need_ it to stop; I want everything to slow down. _Stop!_ I demanded, but I found my voice weak with no energy at all. It wasn't my voice, I never sounded that weak. I backed away, willing everything to come to an end, horrified of everything, anything. _Please_, I pleaded. But my surroundings wouldn't stay still, it might have even spun faster, around and around like a merry-go-round, going too much, too fast.

All I could see during those moments of despair, of being lost in a world where I didn't even recognize my own voice, all I could see was Jacob and then…her face. I hadn't known that I'd fallen so deeply for the werewolf, fallen so deeply in love. I couldn't understand, comprehend why I would react so hugely, so badly toward just seeing her face. _Her_ face.

It had only been a month and a bit after all. I hadn't known that the books, the _Twilight _series had given me details of his life that made me know him much more than any other people, except Bella, Edward and the werewolves of course. I had even promised myself to protect my heart from this, knowing instantly the outcome of this crush. But I had to ignore it. In fact I had to push myself into that black hole of trouble awaiting me at the end of it all.

I knew I had to act as if nothing was wrong. I knew that everything I thought before, when I'd first fallen for Jacob, I knew I had to erase them all, lock away the memories, the pain and feelings. I had to lock them all into some dark corner of my mind, where I wouldn't dare visit again. I _couldn't_ venture into those thoughts ever again.

He'd never given up his feelings for her, and he never will. It was the truth, and I was just too stupid to remember what they'd gone through in _New Moon_, in the series. I was just too ignorant.

----------

Someone was there; someone was asking me if I was alright. I nodded, unable to speak; my mouth was dry, too dry. Someone shook me. "Kara! Kara! Are you okay?" I opened my eyes gingerly, not wanting to look the speaker in the eye. I nodded again and I could feel the relief roll off his body. "Thank god!"

"Wh-what happened?" I croaked. Another someone handed me a cup of water, which I gratefully drank.

"You tripped and then fell and hit your head," a gruff voice replied behind me.

"And then you blacked out," someone else added, his voice was deeper than the others.

Suddenly everything seemed to focus, and everything seemed too dark. "What time is it?"

"Almost seven," was the reply.

My eyes snapped open from their half-closed state. "Oh my gosh, I need to go." I got up hurriedly, forgetting what happened, until I stood, swayed and lurched forward. My legs were too weak, I couldn't walk, and my head was throbbing with harsh pounds every millisecond. Jacob caught me and brought me back to the sofa. "Thanks," I muttered and looked around me to find Jacob, his father and another man._ Nothing's happened, you haven't seen the picture of…her and nothing's changed_, I reminded myself before anything else was said and done. "Do you have any Tylenol?"

"No," Jacob frowned.

I replied before thinking. "Don't all families have Tylenol?" I was grumbling, the pain in my head was playing with my temper. When I realized that there was silence I quickly realized my mistake and tried to cover it up. "No, no, it's okay, really, I can live without Tylenol right now…just painfully."

The unknown man straightened from his slight slouch upon the couch, "I'll go buy some now."

"Thanks Sam," Billy called to him.

"No!" I shouted. _Stupid headache_, I cursed my head silently and lowered my voice. "I mean, no, you don't have to, I should just get home." Standing up carefully this time, I found I could walk a few steps before my body collapsed on me again. This time it was the man called Sam who caught me. _Sam!_ My pounding head announced. _Yeah, so what?_ I snapped, irritated at my inner voice. _Werewolf, Uley…?_ The voice replied. And, finally it hit me; I could almost picture the light bulb appear above my head like they do in cartoons. "Oh!" Sam gave me a quizzical look, making me grin sheepishly, or as sheepishly as my face could manage then.

I heard Billy sigh and twisted around to look at him. "Jacob, maybe you should accompany Kara home.

"She doesn't have a car anyway," Sam added.

"I will," Jacob answered and walked over to offer an arm to me. I froze in alarm, when my mind began to banter back and forth. _Take it_, a voice started.

_No, remember what you promised yourself! If you take the hand, you might not ever be able to let go again_, another voice added.

_It's just taking his hand! It's a sign of friendship!_ The first voice answered.

"Maybe you should carry her," Sam suggested when I made no notion of taking his outstretched hand. My eyes widened. I twisted my body to look at him. He simply smiled at me kindly, making me glower at the wall behind him while listening to my inner voices bicker in the same voice as my own.

_See, now you've done it, you're going to be carried now!_ The second voice sounded disapproving.

_It's not her fault!_

_She should have said something to prevent it!_

_SHUT UP!_ I yelled at them inwardly.

"Yeah, maybe I should," Jacob grinned down at me, making me turn my scowl to him. I hated that I was so short.

"I can walk fine!" I demanded, but accepting Jacob's hand all the same. "I just need a little help, that's all."

"Sure," Jacob replied sarcastically while I _hmph_ed at his laughing eyes.

----------

The ride home was silent. Too silent. But every time I opened my mouth to start talking, my mind would remind me of the picture. Instead, Jacob drove, looking straight ahead at the road and I stared out my passenger window, body turned. Even though I had my back toward Jacob, I could still see him reflected on the window. I guess there was no escaping him. I sighed twisting around in my seat so that my body faced Jacob. "So," I started.

He glanced at me. "So," he echoed.

"Who is that girl in your wallet?" I blurted out before I could catch myself.

Jacob looked surprised, then sad, then angry and then went through the emotions all over again. Finally, he decided on angry. "Why?"

I surveyed his almost snarling face thoughtfully. "Nothing." I paused and then added, "Is she Bella?" I looked away.

A sharp intake of breath was heard and then silence. I was too curious for my own good to not see Jacob's reaction. His face held a mixture of pain, sorrow and regret. He was shaking; I could see how hard he was trying to calm himself, before the change appeared. Though, of course, I would be interested to see the final outcome. "Where did you hear that name?" His voice was low and gruff.

"Somewhere."

Jacob veered off the road and stopped the car. He turned to face me, dark eyes flashing. "Tell me where."

I stared back at him in a defiant manner. "If it hurts you that much for me to say the name, and for you to remember, then why do you still keep the picture in your wallet?"

"Where did you hear that name?" He grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

I didn't admit it, I wouldn't admit it, but he seemed more like a monster than anything else in that spare moment. I was terrified, horrified at what he'd become because of Bella, a timed bomb that blew up anytime _Isabella Swan_ was mentioned. "What's it to you?"

He glared at me.

"What's it to you?" I repeated. "I mean, I know the name now, so what?" He was silent, so I continued. "I know that she's done something to hurt you, to make you so emotionless all the time." My hands reached out hesitantly to touch Jacob's arm. "I know you don't trust your feelings, your heart anymore, but not everyone's going to hurt you. Maybe, just maybe, if you let go and let people actually care about you, let them into your heart, maybe you'll find happiness that way."

Jacob eventually stopped shaking and looked at me with wide eyes. His face didn't have that gaunt look anymore, instead I saw just a teenage boy, a helpless one, looking at me with too much pain and sadness reflected in his eyes. This was the real Jacob inside all of his mental walls that changed even his physical appearance. This real Jacob took all the pain, and tried to mask it using the emotionless façade. This real Jacob could never forget her. But most importantly, the real Jacob was afraid, scared of all the events that have happened and are going to happen.

I knew I shouldn't have gone so deep into my heart as I said those words. I wanted him to change though, not for only me, but for his friends, his pack and his father. They cared for him, and I'm sure he knew that, except he needed to be reminded yet again. Did I have to say all those words so that it even hurt my heart though? Perhaps, I was just breaking my heart another time when I said those phrases of such deep meaning. Or maybe, I realized as I searched for the keys to my own home in my backpack, maybe I had just fallen deeper into love with Jacob Black.

**A/N: See what I mean? Meh, this can almost be called my worst chapter… or not. Tell me what you think of it? Maybe I'll rewrite it… Hugs to all of you! Thanks for your support and reviews! Happy New Year and eat lots at some party and have fun! Reviews are festively, greatly, appreciated! (Fine, **_**festively**_** might not work that well in that sense…******

**-----P.S. I have two new stories up on so if anyone would like, and if anyone has the free time to read, I would really like some feedback on the stories. **

**Link to my profile on fictionpress: **** on story #1:**

**The first chapter (what I have on there) is very short, only about 800 words long. So, feel free to comment and criticize! It's called **_**The Dark Side**_**. Thanks!**

**Comments on story #2:**

**I really don't have a clue what to name this. So, for now, it's called, **_**Speak for Yourself**_**, which you will see might probably be a very bad title… meh. Thanks too!**


	10. REAL Chapter Nine

**A/N: Hey, hey everyone! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in…a month… (Sheepish grin) School's been busy, and I'm failing French (well, not literally, it's just that my speech sucks, and the grammar in it is horrifying)… I am also stage manager for this school production and I have rehearsals four times a week! I'm not giving this story up though! Don't you guys worry, I have the last chapter all written and edited too! Thanks so much for you reviews everyone! Well... I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! (It's not really edited, I only wrote it today, and I wanted to give it to you guys as soon as possible since its been a month… heh heh…)**

**Disclaimer: It's fan fiction! Therefore, do I own ****Twilight****New Moon**** and/or ****Eclipse****? I think not!**

I was thankful that my parents had to go to a dinner with my father's coworkers. I didn't need my mother to see my face, knowing that she would ask me what had happened, and I didn't want to tell because I knew that once I'd started, I would not be able to stop myself from telling her everything. After taking a shower and some Advil, I flounced onto my bed, wincing as my head hit the pillow, and tried unsuccessfully to forget the big load of homework in my backpack which was still downstairs.

Sighing, I tromped down the stairs and spread my textbooks and notes on the kitchen table with a bowl of grapes in the middle. I was on my tenth algebra exercise when I heard the sounds of the front door unlocking and laughter trailing in.

"Charlie," my father's booming voice sounded confidently, "It really _has_ been such a long time. Who knew I would find you here?"

"Yes," an unfamiliar voice answered. "Actually, I live in Forks, but I have a couple of friends here. You should come over sometime."

"Oh, that would be great!" my mother said, sounding truly enthusiastic.

"The last time I heard from you was when your wife was pregnant with your daughter." My dad sounded too excited. I rolled my eyes. "Then we sort of...lost contact…well, I was busy with work," he said sheepishly, "and I hadn't really heard from you…so…." _Go on, dad_, I thought to myself, holding back snickers, _keep on going, you're doing great in making a fool of yourself._ My dad had always been so good at keeping a conversation going on.

My mom quickly came to the rescue! "We have a daughter ourselves these days."

I hastily tidied my mess of books, and moved toward the voices, curious to see who 'Charlie' is. Straightening my comfortable sweater and jeans before peaking into the living room, I met the brown eyes of a middle-aged man. He was dressed casually, wearing a light jacket over a white T-shirt. "Hi," I mumbled, knowing that he had seen me and it was no use hiding from anyone. I stepped out from behind the door.

He smiled. It was a nice smile, but strangely enough, his face also held a mixture of sorrow and recognition. My parents turned; they hadn't noticed. "Hey Kara," my dad practically beamed, making me roll my eyes yet again. Then, completely ignoring me, he turned back to 'Charlie'. "Speak of the devil, eh?"

I grinned apologetically for my dad. Catching my mom's eye, I cocked my head slightly, silently asking her who 'Charlie' is.

"Kara, we'd like you to meet Charlie Swan," my mother said. "He was your father's best friend all through grade school." I froze in shock. This couldn't be. I didn't want to believe it, but there he was, sitting in our living room as alive as ever. Thoughts of the previous hours jolted through my brain. I didn't know what I should be feeling as a picture of Jacob's snarling face slammed its way into view. I was torn between interest, pity, anger and just plain surprise. This night couldn't get any weirder could it?

I took Charlie's outstretched hand and shook it firmly, while smiling at him politely, holding all thoughts inside. "Pleased to meet you."

"Same here," he replied.

I shifted my eyes away from him, quickly wallowing into my own mind while the adults continued talking. I felt lost. He is the father of the source of Jacob's sorrow, problem. It wasn't his fault, so why was I feeling this sense of dislike towards him? In fact, it wasn't really Bella's fault either. She did love him, just not as much as Edward Cullen. My mouth twitched into a sad smile of my own. But didn't I promise, swear, to myself that I wouldn't dive into this relationship anymore? I was already deep enough as is, and it would take a lot of strength to swim back up to the surface.

"So," my mother's voice cut into my thoughts, "how's your daughter doing?" I tuned into the conversation, curious to see where Bella actually _was_.

Charlie looked uncomfortable. "She's…not home."

My father, completely oblivious to Charlie's discomfort, said, "Oh, really…" He half-smirked. "She's probably with a boyfriend, right?"

"Dad!" I shouted at the same time as my mother made a similar outburst, though she was half-smiling as well.

"Um," Charlie looked down at the floor, colour drained from his face.

My mom finally noticed our guest's uneasiness. "Charlie, what's wrong?"

He looked up, eyes flitting to each of our faces. Smiling hesitantly, he replied, "Nothing, she's at university in Alaska."

"Oh, okay."

"I guess," Charlie paused, "I guess I just miss her…that's all."

"Well, she _is_ your only daughter," my mother said sympathetically.

Charlie turned back to the floor, but I didn't notice the flash in his eyes. There was more that he wasn't telling us. "Yeah, that's right."

There was a silence. Not able to stand it any longer, I crossed the room to head back to the kitchen to finish up the assigned algebra problems. "Mom, dad, I have to finish up some homework." My parents gave me a questioning look. "I was at Jacob's looking at his car," I kept my face smooth as my heart beat irregularly and my thoughts whirred into a crazy motion.

Charlie looked up in surprise. "Do you mean Jacob Black?"

"Yeah," I acted surprised.

"Nice kid," he muttered to my parents, making them beam. "I know his family. How is he?"

I hesitated, forcing myself to lie believably. "Good."

"Good," Charlie echoed.

I knew I had to go, before I blurted out any horrible truth. "Well, it was nice to meet you Charlie," I smiled gently in his direction, "see you soon!"

----------

I yawned as I watched the clock in the science lab tick slowly toward three thirty. It seemed to take three times slower than usual to get to the spot every student wished it would. I sighed and resumed drawing all over my science note. I had learned that day's Chemistry lesson already, and I was bored out of my mind. I considered sneaking my romance novel out of my backpack and reading a few pages. But, getting caught would be troublesome. And it wasn't like I was _such _a rebel, so that idea was quickly pushed aside by my worries.

I yawned yet again. I hadn't been getting enough sleep the past few days. Every time I closed my eyes I would see _him_ and I didn't need that. The past week or so, I had been avoiding Jacob and his gang which was hard because I had most classes with at least one of them. At lunch, I would sit with a couple of girls from my French class who were friendly and had accepted me into their "group". I knew avoiding them wouldn't help my problems, but it was better than having my heart wrench every time Jacob would remember her, which was often. It was enough that my heart beat unsteadily every time I sensed Jacob's presence, I didn't need my heart to be broken again.

I guess in a way, I was also anxious with my last _real_ conversation with him in his car. I had practically scolded him. How had he taken it? I wasn't sure, but then again, did I want to be sure? The bell rung, interrupting my endless questions to myself. Sighing, I gathered my books and smiled a 'goodbye' towards the teacher before exiting the lab. I was swept into the crowd of teenagers heading their separate ways to their after school activities. Not really focusing on where my feet were leading me, I stumbled my way toward my locker when I bumped into a boy. My books went all across the floor and I scurried after them, collecting my things, while mumbling 'I'm so sorry' to the boy over and over again.

A hand reached out to grab the last of my things. I looked up, right up into the green eyes of the boy. "U-um, thanks."

We straightened. "No problem, I should actually be the one apologizing."

I stood there awkwardly, not knowing really what to say. "Um."

"You're Kara, right?"

"Um, yeah…sure…why?"

"You don't know your own name?"

I flushed. "It's Kara."

He flashed me a handsome grin and handed me my books. "Next time, just watch where you're going, alright?" His eyes were twinkling with amusement.

"O-okay," I stuttered, feeling my blush redden.

"See you later, maybe-Kara!" he called out waving to me before weaving in and out of the crowd.

Dazedly, I continued my path toward my locker being careful not to knock into anyone this time. I wondered who he was and how or why he knew my name. My face still a bit pink, I walked into the hall where my locker was located, not noticing a certain werewolf leaning on my locker staring blankly at the opposite wall.

**A/N: Oh, I'm so sorry! Although you guys have waited so long for this chapter…it's sort of a transition… and I don't like it very much. It's like my chapters have gone from bad to worse…and what's making it even worse? It's the time in between this chapter and the last! I'm so sorry! Well, next chapter will have more Jacob in it, which will make it all better. ******** What's more…I've been thinking- Oh gosh, she's been thinking? I **_**know**_**, the horror! Ha ha… -is Jacob and the other ****Twilight**** series characters out of character? Please tell me! Reviews are appreciated!**


	11. REAL Chapter Ten

_**EDIT**_** – **_**The green-eyed boy is no longer called Jared. I thought of a better name for him. And, just to answer **__**RavieGrint**__**'s… No, Jared-now-called-Zack-I-changed-his-name-not-only-because-I-thought-of-a-better-name-but-also-because-of-confusion-with-Jared-of-the-werewolf-pack (wow, that's a mouthful), he's not Jared-of-the-werewolves, but rather just another high school guy who's…well…keep on reading to find out!**_

**A/N: Hey, hey! Guess who's here! Yup, another new chapter! And within what, THREE DAYS? Let me here those gasps. I know, I know, you're probably sitting in front of your computer gaping at the e-mail or whatever you have open that says I updated. Then, you're probably pinching yourself to see if you're dreaming. Nope, you're not. But, enjoy this while it lasts, because I have a busy month ahead of me, and probably won't update **_**within three days**_**. This chapter has serious emotional stuff in the first half and then pure fluff that adds drama to the story in the last half. Hope you like it! Oh, and, of course, thanks for the reviews! I've just been staring at the computer screen day after day thanking the review gods that people are reviewing! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: Fan fiction. This is **_**fan fiction**_**. What does that mean? Why, of course, it means I don't own ****Twilight****New Moon**** and/or ****Eclipse**

"_There was a girl."_

_"A girl."_

_"Her name was-is Bella."_

_"Jacob loved her."_

_"Very much." _

"Kara."

I stopped in front of my locker. "Jacob," I acknowledged. There was a pause before I added, "What's wrong? Is there something you need?" He stared at me with unreadable, troubled eyes. I shifted my weight uncomfortably. "What?"

He sighed, looking down at the floor and moving away from my locker. "I think we need to talk."

I wouldn't look at him, though I knew what he meant. I couldn't look at him. "Why would you think that, Jake?" I asked, keeping my voice light and quiet.

"You've been avoiding me for the past week." It was stated emotionlessly, making me wince behind my wall of hair.

"I haven't," I immediately contradicted while cautiously unlocking the locker, careful to keep my face hidden.

"What do you call sitting with the French people at lunch instead of us?" I didn't need to see his expression to confirm his frustration.

I shrugged, acting as nonchalant as I could. "They're my friends too! Just because I normally sit next to you doesn't mean I always have to sit with you guys."

His hand banged on the locker next to mine. I flinched. "You normally do, but what's so not normal about the past few days that makes you sit with them instead of us?"

"Nothing!" I protested, whirling around to face Jacob, regretting this action the moment my blue eyes met his dark ones. I could tell that he was confused, troubled by everything.

"Come back to sitting with us."

"There is no _us_ and no _them_! This is a free country! I can sit with whomever I want."

"You're choosing to sit with them." His voice was accusing. He continued staring at me before asking me softly, so softly I almost didn't hear. "Is this all because of last week?"

I took a shaky breath breaking our eye contact at the same time. "I can't pretend it didn't happen."

"I haven't been."

"I don't know what to think, okay? That night in the car, I shouldn't have exploded on you like that, I know." My hands played absentmindedly with the zipper of my sweatshirt. "I feel so confused. At first I just wanted to fit in, and then you were there!" I glanced at him. "Then I had to get so into all this…_stuff_!"

His eyes were guarded. "What's wrong with me being there? I just wanted to be friendly."

"Absolutely nothing, that's the problem!" I brushed hair away from my face. "It's me Jacob, all me."

Jacob's head was cocked slightly to the side, signaling his puzzlement.

"The thing is… I think I've-" I stopped abruptly, catching myself in time before I could tell him the truth. The horrible truth. Instead, I turned away, my heart beating too fast, my breathing turning raspy. _Why won't he just leave me alone? _

The halls were filled with quiet chatter, as the remaining straggling students got ready to go home. But in that moment, it seemed as if we were the only ones left in the school. Even with my back towards Jacob, I could sense the rollercoaster of emotions rolling off the werewolf. And even then, my heart yearned for me to reach out and comfort him, even if it meant hurting myself another time.

"I'm your friend, Kara," his voice wafted softly behind me. "That night in the car, you were…you were right to explode. But I can't. I've tried so hard to forget her."

_"There was a girl."_

_"A girl." _

_"Her name was-is Bella."_

"It's so hard. I fell too hard for her to forget her."

I concentrated on packing my belongings and calming my feelings before turning to see Jacob still there, looking at me with sad, wide eyes, reminding me of his expression after I had yelled at him in his car.

_"Jacob loved her."_

_"Very much."_

"Jacob…"

His eyes refocused on me.

_"Jacob loved her."_

"I…" I stopped, feeling the wetness in my eyes. "I know." The tears slid slowly down. "I-I'm sorry." And I wrapped my arms around him, trying to comfort him, but feeling my heart wrenching apart at the same time, protesting my thoughts, my feelings, protesting what I was doing. I knew I could never cut myself away from him. Everything always came back to this. I couldn't see him hurt; it would hurt me as well. And, even though his heart held another's I held him tighter, not letting go, wanting him to know that I would always anchor him to the world, and that I was there for him no matter what he thought, no matter what he did. After all, I had promised myself, Embry and Quil the very thing, even if I hadn't thought to mean as much when I said it then; I had promised.

_"I won't hurt Jacob."_

----------

"Hey!"

I jumped and squeaked, hands flying to my throat in surprise. I paused for a moment before swiveling around in my chair with a death-glare already in place on my face. The first thing I noticed about the intruder's face, was his mouth, which was smirking in the most disgusting manner making me want to slap him for scaring me in the first place, and then slap him another time just for smirking at me. I thought it was one of the werewolves, but as my eyes slowly moved away from his still smirking mouth, I saw sandy blonde hair and emerald green eyes and I froze, my glare melting away into a light blush.

Grinning, the green-eyed boy crashed down next to me on the empty seat. "Scared you didn't I?"

I scowled at the table, all embarrassment forgotten. It was lunch the next day, and I was back to sitting where I had been since the start of the school year; with Jacob and Embry. Quil was talking to his teacher about his English mark. I frowned as a thought occurred to me. "Um, why are you here?"

"Can I _not_ be here?" the boy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You're not usually here, that's all." Besides, I didn't even really know his name.

"Zack."

I gawked at him. "Huh?"

"That's my name," he said simply.

"Oh, okay…Zack. Why _are_ you here?"

"Am I not welcome here?"

I was in the middle of rolling my eyes when Rachel, a good friend from French class plopped down on the other side of me. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," I replied, wondering what on earth _she_ was doing here as well. This was turning out to be a weird lunch. "Why are you here too?"

"Awww, I feel so welcome!" I glared at her. "What?" She looked too innocent. "I missed not being able to sit with you at lunch!"

"It's been ten minutes," I reminded her, daring her to continue.

"Oh, well, yes, those ten minutes made me realize how much I missed you!"

"Just shut it, Rachel." She smirked and opened her lunch bag, artlessly eavesdropping on my continued conversation with Zack. I turned back to said boy. "Just tell me why you're here," I told him, in a business-like fashion.

"I wanted to apologize."

My eyes narrowed. We weren't getting anywhere with this question and answer session. "For?"

"Yesterday."

"You have already," I said, remembering the accident yesterday, and blushing at the memory. I wondered what he _really_ wanted.

He shot me a blinding smile, making my blush redden. "Are you free tomorrow night?" he tossed out boldly.

I stared at him, mouth wide open. _What?_ "P-pardon me?"

Chuckling, he repeated his question, slowly as if talking to a too excited six year old. "Are. You. Free. On. Saturday. Night?"

"Are you asking me out on a _date_?" I blurted out.

"Sure," he replied easily, unwrapping his own packed sandwich and biting into it. "So, are you?"

I was speechless. Dragging my eyes to the floor, I contemplated the black tiles wondrously. "Um…. I don't-"

"Yes she is!" a voice beside me exclaimed, answering the invitation for me. I whirled around to find Rachel beaming brilliantly like an absolute idiot. _What?_ She grinned at me. Distracted by the sound of a chair's scraping sound against the cafeteria floor, I twisted towards the sound to see Zack getting up with his sandwich and flashing me another smile.

"So… I'll pick you up at seven, then?"

"Um."

"Yes, of course," Rachel said, finding my foot and stepping on it, making me yelp.

"See you in last period French then!" He gave me a little wave before disappearing into the crowds of people.

My French class friend twirled me around squealing conspicuously. "Do you know who that is, Kara?" I shook my head no. "OHMIGAWWWD, that's Zack Connors, one of the most sought after guys ever!"

"Um." I seemed to have a limited vocabulary these days.

"And, and! HE JUST ASKED YOU OUT!" And thus she started squealing and hyperventilating. I had a feeling _someone_ was more excited than I was.

The sound of a chair scraping the floor again caught my attention and I turned to see Jacob getting up with an expressionless face, a face I knew too well he only used when he was angry or upset. Embry was behind him looking at Jacob concernedly. Jacob caught my eye, and smiled, but I could tell he didn't really mean it. I got up to follow him except Rachel tugged me back down for more screeching and excitement. I looked after him, wishing I could know what had happened. However, I spent the rest of lunch looking at the door the werewolves left by and not really listening to Rachel's plans and continued squealing.

**A/N: Hehehe…. Cackle… I'm so giddy right now, probably because this isn't a chapter that I hate. Hehehe… I did look over this, but I posted this chapter as soon as I finished writing it, so there might be just tiny mistakes. Let me know what you think! Get ready for some Jacob thoughts in the next chapter (cough – **_**Maybe **_**Jake's point of view, who knows? – cough) Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	12. REAL Chapter Eleven

**A/N: Hey everyone. Okay, I'm **_**really**_** sorry about the long wait. First of all, it was because of school, but just a few days ago, it was because I had a serious case of writer's block. Ah well, now it's all gone, and I'm semi-happy with the result. Why semi-happy, you ask? Well, I don't know if you guys will like it. This chapter has a lot of emotion and two thirds of it is in Jacob's point of view (which might not be good, because I might be out of character), and I don't know if it's good or not. But, of course, I'm never really happy with my writing results, am I? You don't see me going all, HOOOORAYY I love this chapter ever. (Grin) Thanks for all those reviews guys. I have one more week of term break, so I'll try to squeeze in another chapter for you all! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****Twilight****New Moon****, and/or ****Eclipse****, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer. Okay? Okay.**

_- -Jacob- - _

My hands shook as I left the cafeteria. I could feel Embry's burning eyes on my back as he followed me to wherever I was headed. I walked without seeing anything, not feeling anything. I heard the sounds of people talking and the sounds of lunch time at a high school, but I wasn't paying attention. All I really focused on was the sound of my heart beating faster and faster, and snippets of Kara and the idiot Zack's conversation replaying over and over again in my mind.

What's happened to me?

Somehow, I had this tugging feeling at my heart. I was certain I had felt it before, but, I couldn't place my finger on when I had. I couldn't understand what made me get up from my spot at the table and leave. I couldn't understand why I suddenly felt angry at their encounter. It wasn't any of my business who Kara dated. Was it?

"Jake…"

I twisted around to see Embry, eyes flitting from my face to the wall of lockers behind me. "Yeah?"

"I-I…never mind," he ended abruptly.

We continued walking aimlessly, letting my feet lead the way as I got grumpier by the second. I was frustrated and decided to calm down before attending afternoon classes. Searching for my keys in my backpack, I led the way to the parking lot. "I'm going for a run."

Embry's eyes widened before his face turned to the grass ground. He understood what I meant. "B-but-"

"I'll be back before first bell," I cut in before swinging my legs over the motorcycle and roaring off towards the thick forest. The wind blowing across my face from the speed of the motorcycle made my mind clearer, but thoughts of Kara still flitted into my mind. I growled, feeling my body shake, but knowing that I had to control my feelings before I got into the forest. Nothing really got to me these days except _her_, but now Kara? What's so different about Kara?

I cut the engine when I was at the edges of the trees, the scent of the forest filling me with sudden calmness. However, I knew that I still needed that run. Shrugging off my clothes and strapping it to the string around my ankle, I let my body take over. The moment I let my mind run free and my eyes close in anticipation for the final release of my wolf spirit, I felt the shudder up my body and the rush of adrenaline coursing through my body. The scents that were so small before were now enhanced to new heights. I could smell the animals close by; smell their fear for the sudden intrusion of a new creature into their boundaries. Even amongst their fear, there was curiosity, and in spite of themselves, they came nearer to investigate. I could just let out a silent roar and they would all scurry away back to their places, yet I was silent, letting them prod their way to me, looking at me.

I got up slowly, not wanting to disrupt the peace in the air. I started with a slight jog and then stopped when I noticed the small presence of another in my head. _Jacob?_ It called to me.

I sighed. _Yeah, _I answered. _Sam_, I greeted, not noticing how curt I sounded.

_Aren't you supposed to be at sch – oh, I see,_ he murmured. And of course, he did see. He'd know everything within seconds. I growled and shook myself, scaring the rabbit beside me. _Jacob-_

I cut him off. _I know, Sam. I'll be careful._

_Right,_ he replied. There was a silence before he began fading away. _Jacob, I'll leave you-_

_Sam,_ I called out, not even realizing what I was about to do. _What's happened to me?_

He sighed. _Jake…_

_No, what I mean is why is it that what _she_ thinks matter so much to me?_ My voice rose, louder and louder._ Why is it that after that night, in the car when she hit her head, why is it that I care so much about what she – who she's with?_ I hit my fist against the nearest tree, making it sway violently. "Why is it that I can't stop thinking about her and her feelings? _Her stupid feelings_?" I shouted aloud both to myself and Sam.

_Jacob…_

"Why?" I whispered, kneeling down.

_You've had this feeling before, haven't you?_ Sam asked.

_Yeah._

_And you can't recall when you had this,_ he stated, talking aloud as he thought. A series of images fluttered in his head until a picture of Bella appeared in his mind, and stayed there.

I froze.

_Jacob, I don't know if you know this, but, ever since I met Kara… I've thought that she looked a lot like Bella._ He paused, surveying my emotions before going on. _I was careful to keep that thought away every time we talked like this, but-_ he broke off. _Look, Jake, I'll come to you, okay? Jake?_

I took off running. I didn't care where I was going; I knew I just needed to run. Soon, I heard Sam sigh and then his presence slowly fade away. Usually, when I ran, I would be free of everything, but this time, pictures of Kara and Bella flooded my mind. How could I have not noticed? Was it because of this that I became fond of her?

Shaking my head, I pushed myself to go faster, dodging trees and dodging my thoughts. I went around the forest seventeen times before Embry prodded me to get to school since first bell was going to ring in two minutes. I shuddered back into my human form when I neared the motorcycle, dressing at the same time. As I started the engine, I looked back into the dense trees and asked aloud the question that had been forming in my head as I ran. "Have I fallen for Kara?"

I didn't have answer.

----------

- -_Kara_- -

I was relieved to see Jacob in home room and fourth period English. And when he sat in his usual seat beside me for class, I was smiling; ready for conversation. I guess I thought he would do something scary to himself. When he didn't turn to me or anyone during the class, however, my smile was ripped off my face. I attempted to speak to him, but his bowed head over his desk attacked my courage to do anything.

I stared forlornly at him all through class, willing him with all my might for him to look up from his notebook and give me a brilliant smile. Needless to say, I didn't pay attention to what the teacher was saying. The bell ringing loudly made me confused for a second and it wasn't until almost everyone had gotten their books and were piling out the door that I finally brought about enough nerve to speak to him.

"Jacob, I-" He pushed himself up from his seat and gathered his things before following his classmates through the door, all the while not giving any sign that he'd heard me. I trailed after him, fiddling with my messenger bag zipper. The halls were slowly emptying out and it wouldn't be long until Jacob and I would be the last ones in the hall. Taking a deep breath, I quickened my pace so that I could stop in front of him. "Jacob," I started, scaring myself when I said his name in such a high-pitched tone. My heart was racing, and my mind in a black hole of confusion and anxiety. I continued taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself. He waited, keeping his head down and his hair in front of his face so I couldn't read his expression. "Wh-what's wrong?"

He didn't answer, except just continued to stare at the tiled ground. By then, the bell had rung again, and we were deserted in the hallway. The silence of it all made my eyes wander over Jacob, catching his slouch, his dirty sneakers and the way his hair hung limp instead of away from his face as it was that morning. My heart pound harder, echoing in my body, my lips were dry but I couldn't look away. "J-Jacob, pl-"

I stopped. My heart stopped, my eyes latched fixedly on his. I was caught like a deer in a car's headlights. Jacob had looked up so that I could see his face, so that I could see what was wrong. Even as my eyes traveled away, I would find myself staring into his eyes yet again. "Oh, god," I whispered.

His eyes seemed tired, and out of focus. They stared at me in a haunted blank way, yet I could see that he really wasn't looking at me. His face held no emotion and was terrifyingly blank, as if he didn't feel anything, as if no one was in there. At the sound of my voice, his eyes flickered down to my face. And his face immediately changed. He was suddenly angry, confused and scared at the same time.

His eyes narrowing, he looked at me with hard eyes before stepping the side and continuing down the hall. I was frozen there, half-turned, feeling sick to my stomache. I stared at the locker in front of me, studying its shadows, desperately holding onto my tears, not letting them run free. It was when I heard his sneakers stop at the foot of the hallway instead of moving that I looked up, daring to be hopeful.

My eyes met his dark ones and all hope vanished. His eyes weren't a mixture of emotions, instead they held a clear feeling; anger. "Don't talk to me," he said in a rigid tone just loud enough for me to hear. My head snapped down as his words slapped me hard across my face, and until I heard his footsteps fade away, I stayed where I was, slowly sliding to the ground. Feeling the silent tears roll down my cheeks, I wondered what had happened and why he had reverted back to how he was at the start of school. Except, he wasn't like how he was before…he was even worse.

_What had I done?_

----------

_- -Jacob- -_

I managed to slide into home room just as the bell rang. Thankfully, Monsieur Dubois was a few minutes late as well, so when I slid into the seat in front of Embry's I was not late. I didn't want to look over to the other side of the room to see Kara, as I usually did. Embry and Quil appeared beside me, when the whole school shuffled to their fourth period class.

Quil's eyes widened when he saw me, telling me that I looked as bad as I felt. "Hey," he greeted, tilting his head slightly, silently asking if I was alright. But, when he caught the quick shake of Embry's head, he stopped saying what he was going to say except walked on the left of me with Embry on the right. They both knew that I was in a bad mood, and they kept quiet of which I was thankful for. Instead, my two best friends stood by me and seemed almost to protect me from other people. However, when we stopped in front of my English classroom, they had to leave for their Spanish class. And I was alone walking into class, not noticing who was walking right behind me.

I slumped down onto my chair and got out my notebook. I stared at it, feeling everything but taking notes and going to school. I let my mind wander and immediately Sam's words filled the space. _Jacob, I don't know if you know this, but, ever since I met Kara… I've thought that she looked a lot like Bella._ I let my hair hang limp hiding my face from my classmates on either side of me. Did she? Did Kara look like Bella?

Sure, they both have brown hair, but their eyes are a different colour. Is it just because of their hair? It can't be. Is it possible for me to love her? It's true that I've thought about her often these past weeks. But it was only because she hadn't sat with us for a week. An image of Bella flashed by; I clenched my hands into fists. No, Kara couldn't remind me of _her_. Kara wasn't with a bloodsucker. Kara wasn't going to get herself killed because of a damn bloodsucker. My hands started shaking but I clenched them tighter.

_She was afraid of hurting you,_ Edward's letter had said,_ and she didn't want to make you feel obligated in any way. But I know that if things had gone the other way, I would have wanted the choice._ She was afraid of hurting me, well; it wasn't like she _didn't_ hurt me. He got her, he should just be happy, no need to apologize.

I wasn't angry at Bella, I was sure. I was just angry at what she'd chosen for herself. It's her choice, after all, if she wants to be with the bloodsucker. But then again, it's her choice if she wants to kill herself. What power did I have over her? What power did I have over Kara?

Why was it that I suddenly hated Zack Connors just because he asked Kara out? It's not like…like I like her. I mean, I like her as a friend. That's it, right? But, my heart protested just as soon as I asked myself the real question as I had right after the run. Did I love her? Another flash of the Cullen's stupid letter brought my attention back to an image of Bella in my head.

The bell suddenly rang, and I slowly stood up, packing my things. I walked through the door as if I were in a trance. I was confused and I couldn't solve any of the problems, questions my mind presented me with. I hated it. I hated the fact that I couldn't do anything for myself. I found myself shaking again, and I wanted, just for a minute, to let it take over me. But I couldn't, I knew it, as I stomped out my anger and replaced it with the cold control that I'd stored away from the past months of practice. I was almost in control of everything when a person slid in front of me, making me have to stop. The bell rang again signaling that fifth period had started.

My control was slipping when she spoke. "Jacob, pl-" My head snapped up at her voice, so tight with worry that I hated myself even more. I was shaking even more violently, my temper rising with the frustration within myself. I stepped to the side and continued down the hall, focusing on calming myself, because I knew that if I'd tried to speak, I might have growled instead, scaring her and creating more anger in myself.

Even as I walked away I could hear Kara's breathing, fast and raspy. I stopped at the end of the corridor and turned, watching her twist to face me as well. My eyes fastened on her lighter ones and saw her own confusion and anguish. Her eyes were filled with tears that were attempting to spill over and I wanted to reach over to comfort her. However, instead, I told her, in a stiff voice, "Don't talk to me," and let my feet lead me away from Kara, feeling my heart break when I finally stopped in the middle of another deserted hallway. I looked out the window on the left wall and finally knew the answer within myself.

_I loved Kara, whether she reminded me of Bella or not, I loved her, and I had just broken her heart._

**A/N: That was long… How was it? (Fiddles with a pen in nervous anticipation) Did you like it? Was it too much? Oh, I get so nervous over these things. Was it out of character? Reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.**


	13. REAL Chapter Twelve

A/N: Hey guys

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the lovely reviews! Reviews really make my day! Okay, I know, I know, I promised to have a chapter within a week, and it's definitely past a week now (or is it?), but I don't know… somehow after writing the last really emotional chapter, I felt drained, and I couldn't really write after it. In the mean time, I wrote some other story (it's a story of my own) that's supposed to be humorous and I could write that! Weird how my brain works…! I just couldn't go on with this chapter. Now that I've written it, I have to say that I'm not really proud of it either. In fact, I sort of hate it… I **_**might**_** (note the italics) post another chapter later tonight, because I really want to push myself and I feel like you guys aren't going to like this chapter either… and it isn't fair to you guys that I broke my promise **_**and **_**that I update with a bad one… but you might not think that, eh?**

**Disclaimer: Nope, do not own the ****Twilight**** series, nor will I ever.**

_- -Kara- -_

I dragged myself to my bicycle, not even pausing when the hall monitor called out to me. I was supposed to be at French, but with my heart thumping so unsteadily and my head whirling with pain, I decided to skip. I steered the bike to the sidewalk before getting on and riding home, all the while my mind kept flashing me images of Jacob; Jacob giving me a tentative smile, Jacob's face scrunched up in concentration, Jacob giving me a brilliant smile, Jacob looking angry…

In a daze, I crossed the road without looking and didn't see a car coming. The Camry came to a screeching halt inches from my right leg. The driver stuck his head out and yelled at me for not looking before crossing. I apologized and quickly biked to the other side of the street's safety. Sighing, I stopped just before my house, and was about to go in when I decided to take a short ride before going home. I swerved into a park having learnt my lesson from before that I shouldn't ride on the streets with my current condition.

It was still early, so the park was near empty. I let the wind blow the hair away from my face the only thing I didn't know was that the wind blew the tears that had leaked from my eyes to the side of my face as well. When I almost bumped into a tree, I got off and walked my bicycle to the bridge. I leaned the vehicle against the start of the bridge and walked to the middle. Finally feeling the tears rolling down my face, I let myself break down. I collapsed on top of the bridge and leaned on the sides, sobbing, shoulders shaking. "Why?" I whispered to myself. "Why?" I screamed.

I rubbed the tears away, suddenly angry. _I didn't understand Jacob and he kept pushing me back when I pulled forward? Well, I'll show him_, I gritted my teeth. _I won't be someone he goes to just because he feels like it. It's either yes or no._

I didn't understand what I'd just promised myself.

My mom's car and a police car was in the driveway when I gathered enough courage to go back home. I stared at the foreign car wondering why it was there. I steered my bike to the shed at the back of the house and jogged up the stairs to the back door that led to the kitchen. "Mom," I called out, "I'm home!"

"Hey, Kara," my mom said from the stove where she stood stirring a pot of sauce. I attempted to smile for her, but my mother saw my face anyway. She turned off the stove and crossed the kitchen to put a hand around my shoulder. "Kara, what's wrong?"

I still tried to smile, but I grimaced instead. I pushed her arms gently away. "Nothing, Mom, I'm just…just tired, that's all." This time I did smile before pushing myself away from her and walking slowly up the stairs. "I'm fine Mom," she looked like she didn't believe me, "really," I added.

I was about to walk into my room when the door of the bathroom across the hall opened revealing Charlie Swan. He looked at me in surprise before a flash of worry and recognition passed by his face. Crossing the hall, he asked, "Kara, are you alright?"

"Yeah," I replied, wondering what he recognized.

"Are you sure?"

I laughed weakly. "No, but I'm sure I'll live to see another day."

His eyes widened slightly, looking shocked at what I'd said. "Kara, maybe we should go downstairs and talk to your mother."

At that, I laughed yet again. "Charlie, I didn't mean it that way. I just had… a bad day, that's all. Life's too good for me to attempt suicide." Meanwhile, my mother had traveled up the stairs and heard only my last few words.

"Kara! What?" She grabbed my shoulders and squeezed me tight to her. "Suicide? What?"

"Calm down, Mom! I'm not-"

"Don't act rashly, Kara! Whatever's happened, I'm sure can be fixed!"

"-attempting suicide!" I told her earnestly, half-amused. I let my head fall on her shoulders and added, "Besides, I'd miss you too much to go to the afterlife."

"Kara, it's not a good thing to joke about!" My mother pushed my head away and took my arms to look at me, worried eyes flickering all over my body to see if anything was hurt. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I sighed. "No, I'm not. But, I'm not going to do something stupid. Mom, you know me." I struggled out of her grip and opened my bedroom door. After I entered, I turned, about to close the door but saw my mother looking at me and then Charlie for guidance. I knew my mother cared for me, but what made me so down wouldn't be that big of a deal to her, I was certain. I looked down at my old converse and almost shut the door when I heard my mother's voice.

"I-Is it Jacob?" she asked tentatively. I froze upon hearing his name. "You haven't said much about him lately." She paused, before the next words tumbled out her mouth. "Before, you would always talk about him and his- your friends. But, it was always Jacob the most." She shuffled her feet. "The past three weeks you haven't said _anything_ about him. In fact, you hardly talk anymore! And, you came home looking like that!" Her voice was strained, but her tone softened as she said her next words. "I worry about you, you know."

"I know," I whispered. I glanced up to see my mother looking at me anxiously and Charlie looking slightly uncomfortable, but staying there because of the faint piercing tone to my mother's voice.

"Is it him?"

I swallowed and looked away. "I don't know."

"What did he do, Kara? Did he hurt you?"

I flinched. "No, he didn't hurt me." _At least not physically_, I amended. "H-he didn't do anything, Mom."

She stepped forward. "What's the matter then?"

I closed my eyes. "Nothing's wrong."

Laughing harshly, she said, "I think we both know that something's come up." Flinching yet again, I said nothing just wishing that tears wouldn't leak out. "Maybe I can help you."

I shook my head. Gathering enough courage, I took a step back. "I'm fine Mom," I said in a steady voice, reaching behind me for the door knob. "I think I'll take a shower before dinner." I finally closed the door and succumbed to my tears.

I did take a shower. I felt I owed my mother the truth of that at least. All through dinner my mother and Charlie who had been invited to stay glanced at me. I pretended not to notice. Instead, I chatted with my father about his work, pretending to be interested in his clients and business. At the end, I volunteered to wash the dishes so that the adults could talk with each other and I could sneak away afterwards.

When I had dried the last plate and fork, I climbed the stairs to my room, shouting to my parents and our guest that I wanted to finish homework. Of course, I didn't actually get any done. I wasn't in the mood. I sat on my bed looking at the door when a loud _ping_ interrupted my thoughts. I jumped, heart pounding I looked around to see where the noise came from. I was about to discard it as my imagination because of my uneasy state when another _ping_ rang loud and clear right where the half-opened window was. I crept up to the window, scaring myself as the wooden floor creaked under my weight. As images of really big and scary monsters from numerous horror movies that I'd seen ran through my mind, I cautiously looked out my window and saw...

…a really big and scary monster. I gaped at the dark shape below me until it suddenly vanished. I don't know what made me look up, but when I did, I saw Jacob's head floating in the tree right outside my window. Backing away slightly, I squeezed my eyes shut and opened my mouth to scream but as sound came out, I felt a hand on my mouth. Slowly, one by one, I opened my eyes to see dark ones staring back at me. _Jacob. _Making sure I wouldn't scream anymore, he pulled his hand away from my mouth before leading me to sit on my bed.

When I finally caught my breath, I turned to him, to actually look at him. "Why on earth were you out there?"

Jacob gave me a nervous smile. "I, um, wanted to, um…"

"Wanted to what?" I asked. He mumbled something to the floor. "What?"

"Apologize," he said louder, seeming embarrassed at the whole prospect of such an action.

I stared at him. "Apologize?" I repeated.

"Kara, well, I…"

"Sure…" I grabbed a pillow and hugged it to myself, heart still pounding. He put a hesitant hand on my arm. Realizing that I was shaking, he ducked his head and shuffled away from me. Letting the clock tick a few minutes away, he said nothing, enabling my heart to slowly beat normally. I held on tighter to my pillow until I could breathe properly again. A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Wha- how did you get to my window so fast?" I didn't look at him, but I heard a quick intake of breath.

"I jumped."

"You sure do jump far then."

He laughed nervously before backtracking, "I wasn't that far to begin with. I think you just thought I was far." There was a sudden silence that was not uncomfortable, but if I were to say that it was comfortable, I would be lying. Jacob shuffled his feet awkwardly before breaking into the silence. "Kara…"

"Yeah?"

"I think we should talk."

"Talk…" I repeated, unsure of whether I wanted it or not.

"…About what I said earlier today."

"What you said…"

"I said to never talk to me again…"

"Go on," I said, closing my eyes.

"I-I want to tell you that I don't mean that," he mumbled.

"You certainly didn't seem like that this afternoon."

He sighed. "Kara…"

I opened my eyes. "What?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"Wow, you're getting straight to the point and being _ever_ so regretful about what you said."

Groaning, he answered, "Kara, I _am_ sorry! Will you just let me talk?"

I was suddenly angry. "Talk? Is that it? Then why all the fuss? Why come here in the middle of the night when you could do it at school. God knows how much you like to avoid me - how much you like me right now."

"Hey, I never wanted that to happen!"

Throwing my pillow on the bed, I stood up and faced Jacob. "You were the one to say it!"

"You were the one who had to agree to go on that date with Zack Connors!" he hollered back.

"Oh," I scoffed, "so you're jealous?" I gave a short laugh. "Why on earth would you be jealous of him? You know I don't like him! In fact, it wasn't even _me_ who agreed! Rachel agreed for me!" A sudden idea popped into my mind. Backing away with a smirk on my face, I added, "Maybe I _will_ go out with Zack Connors after all. I _was_ thinking of canceling, but who knows? Maybe I'll grow to like him!"

"Kara…" Jacob's eyes had turned coal black; his voice was low and dangerous.

"What, Black?"

He flinched at the use of his last name. "Nothing, Laurier," he answered in a steely tone. "Though, you _are_ right, you should go out with Zack Connors. I mean you guys fit each other so perfectly. Both so damn stupid and arrogant!"

"Well, at least I'm not the one who goes _on and on_ about some girl he could never be with since she's in love with someone else!" I retorted, raising the volume of my voice.

Jacob's face turned pale and an eerie silence followed. "That was unnecessary."

I turned away, glaring out the window. "It's the truth and you know it."

"I'm trying to overcome it! You know I am!"

I whirled around, "I do, and I know you're trying. But have you ever thought about how other people feel along the way? We're afraid to do anything drastic without a good, sweet nod from Jacob Black, the sensitive _puppy_," I spat the last word out. "He just happens to be our friend, and we're too nice to hurt his feelings again."

"You have no idea what you're saying."

"Yeah," I tilted my head, smiling cynically, "you're right, I mean, how could I ever know?"

Jacob glared at me. "You weren't there. I patched her up! She was hurt by the same lee- _thing_ she's in love with now! _I was the one who stitched her back up and got her to live again_. You don't know how she was like!" He panted for breath.

"It's gone on long enough," I replied evenly, "for me to at least have _an idea_ of what it's like. And at the same time, I couldn't help notice the way you've been treating everyone else around you. Perhaps I shouldn't have planned to go talk to you tomorrow, because look where we're at now? I don't want to be a part of your _posse_ and have everything that I own, have my life ruled by what _you_ feel, how _you _like it, because let's face it, every person in your life, every single _thing_ revolves around you. Jacob Black, the tall dark-haired teenage boy who seems to be easily-"

"Yeah, you're right. I just wanted to come here to talk, to apologize. What apologize, huh?" He brought his face inches from mine. "Instead, I get yelled at, and we're doing everything but talking-"

I cut in with a cold laugh. "Then why stay, Black? If you don't enjoy being here, _get out_. Get out of my room right now!"

"Hell right I am." He brushed past me with a dark face and just as he was about to climb out of the window, he added quietly, so quietly that I wondered if he was talking to me, "I thought you were different, you seemed different at first. I liked you, Kara, I really did, but I guess we can't even be friends now. Not after this."

**A/N: SEE? (Screams in frustration) Ugh, stupid chapter… I ****hope****, no, I'm certain that the next chapter will be good. ******** Reviews and criticism are as always greatly appreciated!**


	14. REAL Chapter Thirteen

A/N: Hey everyone

**A/N: Hey everyone! Okay, I know, I know, it's been such a long time. –Smacks head on desk- But think about it this way, exams are coming soon so I can write a bit more. You don't understand why that is? Well, me neither. Kara and Jacob have had an emotional angst-y rollercoaster, right? I think you'll all find this chapter a bit different. I'm really sorry about the long wait. So, without further ado (but don't worry, I'll talk more at the end), here's the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. Do I own anything? No siree.**

The clear, bitter winds of November in New York contrasted the airport's stuffiness. I could see my breath as I stuck my hand out for a taxi.

"Where to?" the driver asked me, when I slammed the door shut after putting my luggage in the back.

"Home," I sighed.

He chuckled. "Tiring day?"

I nodded and added, "Bad month too. I'm just glad to be back and see my sister."

--

_Stupid Jacob, stupid Jacob Black_, I fumed, running my hand through my hair. I stomped down the stairs, ignoring the urge to slam my fist into something. When I entered the living room, I was greeted with curious and wary looks from the three adults. Charlie excused himself, saying that he needed to use the restroom. He brushed past me as I stopped in front of the sofa where my parents sat, apparent shock on their faces. "I want to go back to New York for Thanksgiving," I said, keeping my tone as light as possible. "I want to go visit Emma," I added bluntly.

With her eyes wide with confusion, my mother stared at me. "A-and why would you want that, Kara?"

I paused. "I just miss her, that's all."

My parents looked at each other. Finally, my father spoke. "It's awfully short notice."

"I know."

With a sigh, my mother stood and walked forward to clutch my hands. "Kara, really what's wrong?"

I wanted to scream. Instead I replied steadily, "Nothing."

"Please," she whispered. I looked at her face, so lined with worry, but I knew I couldn't tell her. She wouldn't believe me.

I shook my head. "I'll go alone and pay for my own ticket."

This time my father stood as well, crossing the living room at a quick pace, a panicked look on his face. "It's not that, Kara, we're just worried. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," I answered curtly, not noticing how sharply I'd said those words. Although, from the flash of pain on their face I could tell that I had hurt them. I took a deep breath and backed away. "I'll call Emma right now." I raced up the stairs to punch the number my sister had given me into my cell phone. Her exact words came to me as I waited for her to pick up the phone. _Kara, it's a new place. A new school, new people to meet, new everything; whenever you need help, or just something, call me_, she had slipped a piece of paper before I boarded the airplane with our parents. _I'll come straight there, or you can come here_.

She knew me too well. I was a city girl, born and breed as one. I was lucky to have survived so long in the wild, but now without the person who had helped me along, I knew it wouldn't be like that anymore. Sure, I had formed other friendships, but it was not like having Jacob with me in home form, lunch, English… I didn't even know if I could survive the last two days.

"Hello?" My sister's voice crackled, but it was welcoming all the same.

"Emma?"

She seemed surprised. "Kara? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"What's up? How's mom and dad?"

"They're fine."

She noticed my brisk tone. "What happened? Did someone hurt you? You know I'll beat the cr-"

"Emma."

"Yeah?"

"Could I come over to your place for Thanksgiving?"

--

I found myself staring at the ceiling of my sister's room from the sleeping bag on the floor. From the steady breathing to the right of me, I could tell that she was fast asleep. Trying to make as little noise as possible, I got up from where I lay and put on a sweater, some socks and my sneakers before slipping out the door and sitting on the random rocking chair on the porch.

I wondered what brought about my sudden behaviour. I had never been the type to be so impulsive. I wasn't sure if I regretted my choice of action yet, but I knew, that it had not helped my situation one bit. It was raining outside, but I was sheltered from the wet by the roof above me. I watched the heavy rain patter onto the ground, concentrated on the big puddle by the steps which were being splattered with raindrops like painting with paint-bombs. The banging of the rain on the streets was loud, that I didn't hear someone come out onto the porch until she stood right beside me.

"How long have you been out?" my sister asked me. I shrugged. She sat on the porch, back to the wall and tucking her feet under her. She didn't say anything while the both of us watched the rain pour down onto the Earth.

"Emma."

"Yeah?"

I stopped, before putting it as bluntly as I could. "Have you ever been with a guy who you really loved?"

"Ah, so it is problems to do with the heart."

"But then, there were tons of things that blocked your way to each other. And you found yourselves just suddenly arguing and then breaking each other's hearts, making the distance between you guys even bigger than before."

She paused, seeming to think about the question before answering. "Do you remember Patrick?"

"The one with that shaggy brown hair and who played tennis?"

"Patrick made me laugh, you know. I was a junior then, but even then, as I'm sure you recall, I'd already had a fair share of boyfriends. But…but Patrick was different. Our parents loved him, I loved him. I was ready to give up even the most important things for him." I shivered not because of the cold, but at the power of her words. "But then, a sudden ex-girlfriend comes into town. He started spending more time with her, because of her father's sudden death.

"We argued a lot. I kept on wanting him to be with _me_ more. I was selfish, I never knew enough about the situation for me to think otherwise." She sounded regretful. "Then, once the other girl and I met on the streets and I saw how much more she needed him. She was begging me, almost on her knees." She was quiet, wrapped up in her thoughts. "Lisa needed Patrick more than me, more than I could ever need him. I could tell _that _much."

"What happened?" I asked, whispered over the rain.

"I let him go." Emma paused. "I'm sure he loved me as much as he did her, but she needed him in that moment's time."

I was silent, letting her words sink in until something stopped me. "How 'bout Jon?"

"What about him?"

"How did he get into the picture?"

"He saved me," Emma said without any hesitation. She didn't seem to be giving me any more details either.

I glanced at my sister, watching her stare intently at the rain. Her mouth was curved upward, a small smile present on her lips. Emma was always happy when she mentioned Jon. Yet right there on the porch, her eyes were clouded over from the thought of Patrick. It was almost as if her mouth on instinct smiled, but her mind was still on the topic of her former boyfriend. "How?" I finally asked.

"He saved me from drowning. Again and again, he's been there holding me steadfastly not letting go." This time her eyes lit up with tranquil contentment. "Even though Jon is and would _never_ be like Patrick, he's still been there for me when I most needed it." I felt her stare at me, so I turned back to look at her. "I don't know who I love more. But, what's passed has passed, right? I can't turn time back. All I know right now is that there's a man in this city who loves me, and will and has done a lot for me. I know I love him, and that's what counts." I shifted my hands in my lap, turning my head to watch the rain again.

"Have you ever wondered?" I asked tentatively.

She laughed lightly. "Of course, I've always wondered what would happen if I hadn't let go. But, every time I think about it, I know if I didn't push him away, I'd have just ended up causing hurt everywhere. I've never regretted the decision. It was one of the wisest choices I've ever made."

--

The rain stopped on Saturday which was good, seeing as the girls had invited a couple of people over to make a Thanksgiving dinner. They were going to hold the dinner outside, but it was still wet outside. I was happy enough. When everyone left with their stomachs full, the girls and I changed into our pajamas and sat together talking in front of the electric fireplace. It was cozy and we were playing a heated game of "Truth or Dare". It started out innocently enough with a couple of crazy dares when finally, Hilary pointed to me. "So, Kara, truth or dare?"

I had always been too chicken to pick dare. "Truth," I said.

She smiled and seemed to think a while before asking, "Why are you _actually_ here? What's the real reason instead of what you said about wanting a break?"

I was silent, while everyone looked at me. I saw Emma shift toward me, in an instinctive move of sisterly protection. "You don't have to-"

"I will," I said, surprised how clear my voice sounded. "I…I met a guy in La Push."

Karen whistled. "Woohoo, you go girl!"

"But?" Jenna asked, looking carefully at my face.

I cleared my throat. "I'm sure I love him. More than I probably should be, considering how he might not be returning my affection."

"Might not?"

I looked at all of them, seeing their curiosity and sincerity. I took a deep breath before replying. "I don't know if he likes me or not. I mean, we're friends. But, there's a matter of this other girl." A collection of murmurs could be heard. "The problem is that the girl isn't even in the state anymore."

"So? You've got nothing to lose then!"

"It's just I know how much he loves her, and it seems almost impossible for him to love someone else." I sighed, only saying the parts of the truth that I dared to. "We're not even really friends anymore. We got into this big fight two days before, and I don't know. I just… don't." A comfortable silence rose and I was focusing on my breathing, as my mind flashed the picture of Bella again and again.

"Men suck," Sara finally said, and we all raised our heads in agreement.

The next day it was raining yet again. So, my sister and her roommates decided to help my fashion taste. I think they just wanted to cheer me up which was sweet of them to do. According to them, I had "cute but you can do better" taste in clothing which wasn't too bad, I concluded. Except, I knew I was wrong when we drove ourselves to a close mall and spent most of the day there, picking out clothing I never thought would look good on me, but actually – to my surprise – made me look more sophisticated and complimented me really well. By mid-afternoon, we were carrying bags of my clothing and my wallet was significantly lighter. It was then that Sara, one of my sister's roommates squealed and shrieked an "Oh-my-gosh, I totally forgot!"

She dragged us to a hairdressing shop where a "cute guy" she knew worked at. We watched her blush her way through their conversation before Matt, the "cute guy" asked, "So, what are all you ladies doing here anyway?" We looked at him, holding out our shopping bags. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, besides the obvious." He gestured to our bags.

"Well," Sara answered, playing with the edge of her shirt, "we're shopping for a whole new wardrobe for Kara, here." She squeezed my arm. I gave her a tight smile.

"I actually don't live here anymore. I just wanted to visit my sister." I looked at my sister's amused face. "It's raining and these people here were bored, so they decided to drag me here to waste my money on clothes."

"You," Jenna, looking up from a bottle of shampoo she was examining, interjected, "can never say that using money to buy clothes is wasting money. You just can't. It's like a necessity."

I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

"Has the countryside gotten to you, girl?" Shannon asked, grinning.

I laughed slightly. "Last time I checked, La Push can't be classified as countryside. It's more village-y, not enough wheat." Emma chuckled. She hugged me before jerking back with an excited look on her face. "What?" I said warily.

"I have the most brilliant idea ever."

**A/N: So, hi! I'm really sorry for the long wait, particularly because this chapter didn't even have Jacob in it. I have to admit, this chapter was a transition more than anything. But I sort of like it because it's a breather after the emotional angst-y rollercoaster (as I said in the earlier author's note) Kara and Jacob have gone through. It set up what Kara will do next. So, I'm happy enough. Don't you wonder what will happen to Jacob? (Grins). Well, stay tuned! Also, let me know what you think about this chapter! Reviews and criticism are greatly appreciated.**


	15. REAL Chapter Fourteen

A/N: Hey

**A/N: Hey! So, school's officially over. And, exams are over…? Yeah. Um, I think I should first of all, thank you all for those lovely reviews and then apologize for the long wait. No, this story isn't on hiatus; it's just that I'm lazy and slow. This chapter was hard and awkward, and I had a hard time with it. So, that's the main reason for the long wait, but also because my exams were harder than I thought, so more studying had to be put into my week of cramming. Also, I had to make some graphics for a site. I've started the next chapter of this already, so it shouldn't take too long before I post. In addition, I posted a little one-shot (which can be found on my profile page) which could do with some loving. Hope you all like this chapter, though.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Kara, the other OC's and my plot.**

_- -Jacob- -_

"_Wooooo!_"

"You go girl."

"Oh-my-god-where did you get that? It's the cutest thing I've ever seen!"

"Where've you been?"

"Wow."

"You've just _got_ to tell me how-"

I slammed my locker before searching for the source of all the commotion. I felt Embry and Quil next to me. They had curious looks on their faces as well. Quil shouted over the screeching just as the first bell rang, "Let's just get into home room." Embry left us to enter his classroom while Quil and I laced through the crowd to our classroom.

There was hardly anyone in it, but just as we sat down and placed our books on our desks, the crowd came rushing in, whispers of what they had seen still coming out of their mouths. Hardly anything exciting happened in our school, so even little events are stretched into bigger ideas.

She came in just before the late bell, laughing at something a girl beside her was saying. At first I thought she was a new girl until she passed me, replying to something her friend said and I froze. I recognized her voice for sure but even that had changed. There was confidence in the way she presented herself that was not there at the start of school and certainly not there the last week. Her hair was shorter and chopped to frame her face. Her new bangs and the way her hand always brushed her hair away from her eyes drew attention to the light blue crystal earrings she wore. Those ornaments seemed to bring my eyes to her excited light blue ones that dazzled in silent amusement.

My heart beat three times quicker than before and I couldn't seem to stop staring at her. Why did Kara have to spring this one on me?

--

_- -Kara- -_

"He's staring at you again," Yvonne, a girl from French class said to me when she sat down next to Rachel at lunch. I glanced at her briefly before turning back down to my reusable container to continue pursuing my last grape with a toothpick.

"Who?" Rachel asked.

"Jacob Black," Yvonne answered nonchalantly.

"What?" Dana and Natalie, both of Rachel and Yvonne's friends exclaimed at the same time.

I surveyed the table of shocked girls and sighed. Yvonne caught my eye before replying quietly, "He's been watching Kara since the first day back from Thanksgiving." I looked away.

"Jacob Black," Natalie commented, "Wowee…"

"He's never taken an interest in females before, I mean," Dana corrected herself, embarrassed at what the phrase could have meant, "not interested in the love scene." I snorted. "I mean, he's always not even caring that girls all over the cafeteria were swooning over him."

I raised my eyebrows. "Including you?" I asked, unable to keep myself from smirking.

Dana blushed. "Maybe."

"You sat with them at lunch before," Rachel pointed out, "maybe he wants you to go back to his table?"

I shrugged, knowing full well that that was _not_ what he wanted.

Natalie shivered a little. "Maybe you _should_ go back. The way he's looking at you is so…intense. That's the only word I can use to describe it."

The girls looked at me for an answer. "It's my choice whether I want to sit with him or not," I answered calmly. "Besides, I like sitting with you guys." I smiled for an effect. They grinned and the conversation turned to a girl's night out on Friday. As they talked, Yvonne stared hard at me, silently asking if I was alright. My smile disappeared, and I looked back at Jacob's table where only Quil and Embry were talking. Turning back to Yvonne, I gave a slight nod and forced myself into the conversation.

--

I walked into the room giving a smile to the people who greeted me. I went to my usual seat and got ready for another English period with only Jacob's cold shoulder for company. Taking a swig of water from my water bottle, I took out my notebook and checked to see if the homework assignment was still placed neatly in the middle of the pages, book marking the last lined page I'd used. The chair scraping the floor beside me caught my attention and I forced myself to not look at the boy I knew was looking at me. It was to my surprise that the forever silent werewolf spoke for the first time in what had seemed like forever.

"Why did you cut your hair?" I dismissed his voice at first, used to his silent attitude toward me, but when he sighed and then repeated his question, a little louder this time, my reaction was shock. Turning to him, I masked my surprise and coolly appraised his tone and posture.

"Why, does it matter to you?" I looked straight into his eyes.

We stared at each other for a moment before he turned away to face the front of the class room where our teacher stood, trying to get our attention. "Never mind." The rest of the class was spent in silence because of a sudden quiz on Macbeth that had sprung up. But just as the bell rang, I felt a warm hand on my arm.

I twisted around to glare at him, when I saw his hesitant expression. "What?" I snapped.

"Can we talk after school today?" he seemed almost nervous.

I reminded myself not to give in. "What for?"

"I-"

"I can't anyway," I interrupted quickly, "I have a French project with Yvonne, and I can't cancel."

"Oh, tomorrow, then?"

"There's a girl's night out that I can't miss."

"It's just going to take a few minutes," Jacob's eyes flickered from the wall beside my head to the place on the ground next to my feet.

"What is it, Black?" He winced at his last name.

As if the mention of his last name reminded him of our argument and relationship status, his voice hardened and he replied curtly, "Nothing, Laurier. Since you're so busy with your friends, there's no time I can say this anyway."

I almost laughed. "Is it important enough for me, Black? I mean, there's hardly ever a time when something you say isn't too high and mighty for my ears."

His eyes flashed. "Since when, Kara?"

"Since the time I met you, and probably even the time before I ever met you," I replied coolly, pushing past him to get to my French class.

--

_- -Jacob- -_

I slammed the door loudly before heading to the kitchen for food. Just as I opened the refrigerator door, I heard the soft whirring of a wheelchair. "I take it you had a bad day?" he asked, lightly. I didn't turn around, nor did I answer him. But, my father wasn't expecting anything either. "Well, Sam's invited us over for dinner tonight." I grabbed my keys from my backpack and stepped toward the front door. "Be back by five, okay?" I slammed the door once more.

The road to the forest was one I was too familiar with. It seemed as if I had spent almost every week there for the past month, except the weeks when Kara and I used to hang out. I frowned at my usage of the past tense. What was _her_ problem anyway? I was being the peacekeeper and she just had to make it so much harder for me to act.

I admit that it was my fault, that it was probably me who started it. But, did she not think that she hurt me too? She called me a _puppy_. I had never been called a _puppy_, except for the time when…_they_ were here. At that thought I clenched my hands tighter on the motorcycle handles. _How dare she?_

I veered off course, in anger, so that I was headed to Kara's house, deciding to confront the very person who had been in my mind for the whole Thanksgiving break.

--

_- -Kara- -_

"Kara!"

I snapped out of my thoughts. "Yeah?"

Yvonne sighed. "You haven't been paying attention, have you?" I looked at her before sighing and shaking my head. "Look, we can do this another day."

"Oh, no, it's better to get it ready and over with, right?" I smiled.

"This will only work if you can actually do it today." She surveyed my face. "Are you alright?"

I laughed weakly. "I can't completely say yes. But, it seems better if I pretend I am." I looked down at our notes to see what my friend had written down. "Let's just get back to work."

Yvonne closed her textbook loudly, making me jump. "Is…is this about him?"

I didn't look at her. "Who?" I asked, but knowing exactly who she was inquiring about. "Yvonne, let's just get this done, o-"

"Jacob." I didn't answer. "Please, I'm thinking that you need this talk more than a French assignment done. And, I like you, you're a good friend. So, I want to help you; I'm here if you want to talk."

"What about him?" I finally answered.

She sighed again. "Kara. You… you probably don't know this."

"Know what?"

"Jacob, Jacob Black was…different before you came. It was maybe last year that he became different. He grew so tall, began driving around that motorcycle. And, all the girls suddenly were interested in him. He was mysterious, handsome, the classic romance story dangerous guy that the main female character falls in love with." I stared hard at the dining room table. "He also began hanging out with two other guys, and this other man called Simon, or other."

"Sam?"

"Yeah, him." Yvonne went on, "But, those were just physical changes. Jacob – everyone could tell that he wasn't happy. I was with him during elementary, to junior high. And now, high school, but he was always cheerful, optimistic even. His smile was charming. But, he never smiles anymore. He just seems _depressed_, for lack of a better word." She paused. "Then,_ you_ came.

"I don't mean to say that it was all magical, like Disney's fairytales. But, it was noticeable, _really_ noticeable. Of course, it didn't happen over night. Over the weeks, though, everyone, even the punks who skip classes, who hardly know their own schedules by the end of the year; everyone could see that difference. He seemed happier. There were rumours about you guys going out and such." I played with my bracelet. "I don't know what you did, girl, but it worked, and he was a happier guy."

"But then," I interjected cynically, "he wasn't. He was even worse than before, because of me as well."

"Kara, I told you all that to tell you how much it worked."

"It backfired too. I hurt him even more than before. What about that?"

"You saved him from the point where no one could. Think about how much you were able to make him happy. Think about it, his friends, his best friends stood by him all those months, but was he ever affected by them as he was you?"

"He was never affected by me."

"Do I need to shake you?" she exclaimed. "I was beginning to think that he would never smile anymore, that he would always be like that." Her voice rose, "But then, it just happened."

"I don't know, Yvonne." I shook my head slightly. "I don't know anymore."

"Look, you remember the first few days of school, right? He was angry, expressionless."

"Yes, I remember."

"Now, think back to about two weeks before Thanksgiving? Remember laughing with him at lunch. I saw you joking, lightly punching each other as friends do." She punched me lightly to demonstrate.

"But I was his downfall."

"Can I say something else?" I gestured for her to go on. "When you two were arguing, I could see just how much you were affected as well." I began saying something when she stopped me with a glare. "You weren't who we saw anymore. It was more like the opposite. You were unhappy, silent at French. The spark to your eyes disappeared, just to be poetic about it."

I glanced at her to see that she was serious. "So, what do you me to do?" I asked.

"I saw you outside of your English class. I heard it all too." I shrugged. "I think you should listen to what he has to say. Give him a chance and give yourself a chance to listen and possibly forgive."

I made no notion of agreeing "Why?"

"Because… because I think you need him too. When we came back from the break, you returned to your old self…almost. There was something missing. But, you were back and I could see that you were hiding everything really well." She paused to see if I was alright. "What you're missing is _him_."

I was silent.

"I'm right aren't I?"

The clock on the wall seemed to tick louder as we were quiet. Yvonne watched me while I was thinking about what she'd said. Her words made sense, and then stopped making sense. I remembered what my sister had said right before I got on the plane.

"_It's a new haircut. Think about it as cutting all those bad thoughts away. Start fresh; don't think about him ever again. It's hard, but pretend, be cold, mean even. He's not worth it if he makes my sister cry._"

_"Emma, what if I can't just forget him?"_

_"Then, maybe he is worth it. And, forgetting him will just make it even more painful."_

_"You said _maybe_, how will I know?"_

_Her eyes seemed to glaze over. "I don't even know myself. Just go with it, I guess."_

I had followed what my sister said first. I had avoided, pretended that he didn't exist in my mind. I thought I could; I made myself angry at him. But, I knew, I knew that I had forgiven him, because of how deep I had fallen for him, even if his words had hurt me, I gave in because I couldn't make myself feel the opposite way. It began making sense again, before my thoughts met with my emotional walls and stopped making sense. The clock chimed five times, startling me. I looked over at my friend to see her staring at her hands. Finally, I asked softly, "Can we please just get back to work?"

She was hesitant before replying, "Yeah, of course." Yvonne seemed almost relieved to open her textbook again and begin reciting her passage. I tried to focus, but Yvonne and my sister's words stuck on and distracted me from my work.

**A/N: That was probably my worst chapter. Yes, it's (I think) the longest, but probably the worst out of all of them. There was practically NOTHING going on in there. And, there are probably a lot of things that can be taken out. I feel like slamming my head against the wall. Everyone, feel free to flame, give me a rant on how bad this is, smack me on the head, or even give me coal in my pre-Christmas stocking (no, I don't have one, but I will make one right this instant). I, myself, hate this, so I can imagine how everyone will react. I'm so sorry. But, the next chapter will be the Jacob/Kara confrontation. Stay tuned. Reviews and constructive criticism (and all of the mentioned from the previous sentences; smacking on the head, flames…) are greatly appreciated.**


	16. REAL Chapter Fifteen

**A/N: Please dun' kill me! My internet was down, and I was on a trip, and I've been studying for a music history exam (which, I might as well add, I will fail miserably). So, without further ado, I give you chapter sixteen-except-it's-actually-fifteen-but-really-you-can-call-it-whatever-you-want. Ahaha.**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own anything, except plot and OC's.**

I opened the door, feeling slightly guilty but relieved that Yvonne was leaving. That afternoon had not been in the least bit productive. It was awkward and by the end of the session we only had a list of things that we could _possibly_ write for the dialogue. "I-I'm so sorry," I blurted out as Yvonne tied up her shoes by the front door.

She looked up, right foot in the air with an untied shoe in her hands. "What – no, there's nothing to apologize for!" She wobbled on her single foot and grabbed the wall for support. "We did get _something_ done! And," she stopped, judging my worried expression before continuing, "and, it's not your fault." She smiled.

"Yes it-"

She straightened, leaving her shoe untied. "No, it isn't," she said firmly. Her voice softened, "But it might not be his either." She stared into my eyes. "Could you give my suggestion a try? Just listen, maybe there's a way out of this…_thing_ you guys are going through."

I nodded, attempting to smile. Yvonne bent down to finish tying her shoes. Taking a deep breath to steady myself I said softly, "Thank you."

My friend stood up and patted my hand. "You're welcome." She opened the front door and with a slight wave descended the front steps. I waved back, keeping a sad smile on my face. The sound of a mechanical engine nearing caused us both to look toward the road. "I guess your parents are home," she said.

I didn't think of it then, but it would have been strange if my parent came home so early. My father comes home no earlier than six-thirty and my mother left when I came home to go to Port Angeles for some fresh spices. Yvonne stopped walking to survey the vehicle that entered the driveway. To our surprise the source of the commotion was not my parents' humble Toyota, instead, it was something we least expected. _A motorcycle_.

"Speak of the devil," Yvonne muttered, just loud enough for me to hear. We both watched Jacob turn off the engine and swing his body off the vehicle. I recognized the stiff features on his face and could already picture the storm eyes that always gave his anger away.

Yvonne turned to face me, "Here's your chance, girl." She climbed back up the steps. "Remember, it's not completely his fault, but not completely yours either." She hugged me and walked down the path to her car. When my friend passed Jacob, to my – and probably Jacob's as well – she stopped to say something to him. I saw the boy nod and Yvonne smile at the both of us encouragingly before I brought my eyes to focus on Jacob with his tall, lanky body and dark hair.

"Come in," I said blankly when he was within earshot. Without waiting for him to come in, I stepped inside and crossed the hall to head for the sofa in the living room. I needed to at least _try_ to prepare and calm my nerves before facing the conversation I was about to have. Before long, I heard the front door slam shut, and I braced myself for the discussion ahead of us.

Jacob stepped into the living room and immediately, the atmosphere changed and we both became wary of what we were doing here and what the other person was about to do or say. The silence between us was uncomfortable, but neither of us felt compelled to be the one to break it. For so long we remained in the places we held – me, sitting on the sofa, and Jacob, standing by the room's doorway – and no progress as Yvonne had hoped for us was made.

We were looking away from each other, but too often I found my eyes wandering around the room and back to him; his face, his body, his hair, al of which I was determined not to look at. But, as I caught myself for the fifth time watching him, I saw Jacob's eyes doing the same things mine were trying hard not to do. Finally, the tension between us was just too great.

I stood up abruptly, causing his head to snap up to regard what I was about to do. We were both still wary of what might happen next. I took a deep breath to steady myself before opening my mouth to speak. I didn't though, because I found that I couldn't. I had no idea what to talk about. Instead, I stood there slowly closing my mouth and shuffling back to my seat, looking at everything but Jacob's steady stare. I stopped in front of the coffee table. "Would you like something to drink?" I blurted out. To my surprise, my voice didn't shake as much as I thought it would which enabled me to gain more confidence as I stared at Jacob's feet.

The silence seemed even louder than before. When Jacob didn't answer for a long while, I dragged my eyes up his body to see the slight surprise and harsh anger on his face. My confidence melted away and I found myself rambling on weakly. "Well, you know what we have, bottled water, milk, juice, pop, iced tea… Uh, we just got a new pack of this carbonated orange juice that tastes really great…? How 'bout some snack too?" I was blushing like crazy as I crossed the room to head toward the kitchen. But, I kept talking, I couldn't stop myself. "I think we have some cookies left over from the baking spree my mother went through on Monday." I was almost out of the room. "I think we still have some cheese left for some grilled-"

"What the hell?" Jacob demanded, interrupting my quest for food. I was already in the hallway, body facing the kitchen's direction. I turned slowly and saw his darkened face and the apparent anger poking through his emotionless mask. He was starting to shake. "What the hell?" he asked again, making me wince.

"I was just trying to… trying to…" I faltered, unable to continue, his anger scaring me and stopping me from being able to express myself clearly.

"You were just trying to do what?" He raised his eyebrows mockingly and laughed cruelly. "You know the exact reason why I'm here, Kara." I tried to nod. "You know what I'm getting at, what I want." He was shaking more violently now, but my vision was also blurring from the moisture attempting to spill over. But even with it all, I could see him fighting for the control over his wolf spirit.

I stepped forward to put my hand on his. "Jacob, I do know, I-"

Jacob flung his hand away from mine. "You what? You're going to push me away again?" He took a step back so that the distance between us was the same as before.

I flinched. "No," I shook my head. "I can't keep doing that to you."

He laughed cruelly. "What will you do then?" I tripped backward. "Keep avoiding me? Do you think that will work?" This time it was him taking a step forward.

"It wasn't completely my fault," I said quietly, but steadily.

"It's not mine either."

"I never said it was," I said lowly.

"Well, good."

The silence was too loud. My eyes roamed around the room resting on the piano in the corner. "Why is it that we can't have a decent conversation these days?" I asked softly to both myself and Jacob. "Why is it that something always comes up to make us hurt each other?"

"It's not like I'm not trying to be considerate and talk about it," he growled.

I looked up to see him staring out the window, finally not shaking as much as before. "We've both tried," I answered, trying to make peace, "but maybe not as much as we could have done."

His head snapped to face mine, "What do you mean by that?"

"I – nothing, really." I mentally slapped myself. "I didn't mean _you_ specifically," I backtracked.

"No, but I was included, right?"

"Yes," I stopped and then understood the meaning of his question. "Do you really believe that you had no part in this? That it was all _my_ fault?" I gazed steadily into his eyes. "Well, wake up, Jacob, it's as much my fault as it is yours. Maybe even a little more."

He started shaking violently again. "If you hadn't provoked me, it wouldn't have ended like this."

"You were the one who walked out on me," I reminded him. "Remember, in the cafeteria? For the last time, I don't like Zack Connors. I don't even know _why_ you're jealous of him asking me out. In fact, I do recall me not agreeing to the date, except _Rachel_ just kept saying yes for me." My stare turned into a glare. "But you just walked away and then went on to ignore me and tell me not to _talk _to you."

"I came back to apologize," he snarled.

"You came back to apologize and then when I was telling the truth, you left and let this _rot_," I spat out the last word, letting it ring in the air.

He stared at me in silence before continuing in an ominous voice, "Well, you were being the insensitive pers_o_n I probably should have known you were. I'm starting to think that that's the real you. You're just self-absorbed and controlling."

"Yeah, that's me alright."

"Good of you to know that," he muttered, eyes flashing.

I ignored him. "But who's the one who kept on going about _oh, Bella this, Bella that. Oh, I miss you so much._ Why don't you just grow up and realize that you can't keep on going like that!"

He looked like he'd just been slapped. Jacob looked hard at the place just above my shoulder, seeming to think for a moment before shifting his gaze to me. Looking steadily at me, he looked as if to contemplate his next words. "You didn't have to say that," he finally said, calm, but sounding defeated and suddenly tired all at the same time.

"It's the truth," I said, refusing to back down from his stare. Even though he'd told me that I didn't need to say anymore, I continued anyway. "She's over you, she's wi – she's not _here_ anymore, is she?"

For a moment he continued glaring at me, but then something flickered behind the blank eyes, letting me know that my words had hit home once more. That tiny flicker seemed to be almost recognition of some sort, and there was maybe even a little fear in it as well. What did he recognize? But, that flash of whatever emotion reflected passed by so quickly, I didn't have a chance to actually interpret it. Although, the fact that he wasn't angry, or even just the fact that he was affected so _little_ confused me.

Jacob was silent. The shaking had stopped. He was slouched against the wall. It occurred to me that I might have gone too far. He slowly slid down the wall to wrap his arms around his knees. There was only the sound of our breathing, but even that seemed too loud when I could hear how quick and hoarse his was compared to my quick, light ones.

Once more, I felt pity for him. "Come on, Jacob," I pleaded. He didn't answer, but I wasn't expecting him to say anything. "Can we just not argue anymore?" I shifted closer to him, opening my arms in a forgiving gesture. "I'm sure you can tell that it's hurting the both of us, right? Weren't we good friends? Weren't we having fun together?" I hesitated before reaching out with my hand to touch his arm. He let me this time and raised his eyes to look across the room. "Can't we just go back to the way we were?" I knelt down to look in his eyes.

His eyes seemed to be blank. I thought he was going to shut me away from his world again. Again, I wasn't expecting anything, but I was shocked as to what happened next. It wasn't shocking that he spoke, but it was his reply that surprised me more than anything I could have braced myself for. "No."

**A/N: So… it's a (gasp), dare I say it? CLIFFY?! Well, at least it's not one of those chapter endings that are like the guy is hanging off the top of a hundred floor building because his girlfriend pushed him off – thing (will he survive, or die with his heartbroken), right? Right. So, it's altogether, not that bad. (Pats self on back). The next chappie will come soon, I'm writing as much as I can right now. I was thinking of making this a big chapter (with this chapter and the bit I've written for the next one), but I like to end it here, so there you go! Hmm, maybe I am cruel. Oh, well. Ahaha. Thanks for all those wonderful reviews! Reviews really keep me motivated and up on my feet. I love you guys so much! **

**Also, I've filled out a little F A/S Q/T about this story. It's posted on my profile page (/theordinarygirl****) so go check it out, and tell me what you think. And, really, if you have any questions (even really random ones like; do you like mozzarella or cheddar cheese better?) ask away! As usual, ****r****eviews and constructive criticism ****is**** greatly appreciated.**


	17. REAL Chapter Sixteen

**A/N: I sometimes hate my computer so, SO much. I mean, WHY, when I was just finished my chapter, WHY would this stupid machine have to suddenly have this STUPID error and even MS auto recovery couldn't help?! WHY? And you guys would have been so proud of me too. I had the chapter within a week! Finished, typed up. And then my STUPID thing called a computer had to suddenly be stupid. Augh. So, this version probably isn't as good as my original one. For one, it's shorter, and secondly, I think the wording isn't as good as the first one. I hate my computer. SO MUCH. Hope you enjoy and… AND BREAKING DAWN IS COMING OUT TODAY! Come on, cheer with me, guys, CHEER! Unfortunately, I'm getting mine from Amazon and I think it's coming on the 6****th****? THE SIXTH, I KNOW! Ugh. Ugh.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothin' that I ain't supposed to own, kay? Kay.**

_- -Jacob- -_

"…she's not _here_ anymore, is she?" Her words hammered into the air, loud and clear, knocking all else out of my mind and reminding me what I had pushed to the back of my mind for the last few months. No, Bella wasn't here, I knew that, but I had not dwelled on that fact, but on the very idea that the leeches had taken her away. I was angry at her for being so gullible, so easily tricked into going with them, but she had had the choice. _I_ knew she had a choice, even if I was fooling myself. I had let myself get carried away in locking memories away and covering them with lies that – now that I've been reminded – were densely woven to make me forget what was true and only remember what I wanted to, even if it was as far from the truth as I could manage. I had been too scared to think about the truth, instead piling on all those woven lies was the only way I could remember and not break down.

What Kara said hurt me, true, but it was reason and I could not just ignore it. I wasn't that ignorant to sense the obvious when presented directly to me. _Kara_. I stared hard into the ground. The girl herself presented a problem I could not solve, a problem that pained me even to think about. Hadn't I realized that I loved her? But, why had I just gone on hurting her? We were arguing and I wasn't the only one fighting, a voice reminded me in my head.

I willed myself to gain control of myself, to think logically. So, I had fallen in love with her. I should tell her then. But what if she laughs at me, what if she refuses me? My mind flicked back to my memories with Bella. I didn't want my heart to be broken a second time. I didn't know what to do, but what I did know was that I had to come up with a decision right now or else I might not have a chance to do anything in the future. I might just regret that.

Should I tell her now? Or, should I just keep it in?

"Come on, Jacob," Kara's voice pulled me back to the present. "Can we just not argue anymore?"

I didn't want to argue either. But, should I tell her?

"I'm sure you can tell that it's hurting the both of us, right?"

What if my feelings were false?

"Weren't we good friends?"

Yes or no?

"Weren't we having fun together?"

No, I couldn't tell her. I'd just crush the relationship we had. _It's already crushed_, a voice in my head interjected.

"Can't we just go back to the way we were?"

Could we? Yes, I wanted to say. Yes, yes, yes! We had to.

"No," I replied, surprising myself with the truth in my answer.

For a moment Kara looked at me, absorbing my one-worded answer, as if deciding if I was joking or not. Then, the disbelief and anger seeped into her face. "_No_?" She sounded strangely emotionless. "Why not?" I couldn't speak, making her decide for herself that I was being stubborn and ignorant of the fact that she was very much hurt by everything I'd done. "What is this about now, huh?" She stood up abruptly and walked to the other side of the room, letting the space between us widen considerably. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't know what I did to deserve this. Why is everything that I say not good enough for you to forgive me?"

My eyes widened. "No, it's – it's not you."

"It's not me, it's you, Jacob, right?" She laughed weakly. "That sounds exactly what they say in soap operas, except we're just not a couple. Why are you turning this into something big? What _is_ it?" I tried to look in her eyes, but this time it was her who avoided my gaze. Although, I couldn't miss the moisture in her eyes, even with her face turned away from me.

I knew I needed to close the gap I had just made. I needed to be the one to step forward this time, so that I could tell her. "Listen, Kara," my voice was hoarse. I was the one who said no, so I needed to be the one who ended this. Whether it's a happy or sad outcome, I needed to end this.

"I am," She snarled, voice just slightly cracking. Pacing the width of the room, she awaited my answer.

"Can you just let me talk?" I asked, my voice gruff. "Just for a moment?"

Kara stopped and stared at me before spitting out her answer. "Talk." Striding long, angry steps, she reached the sofa and took a seat, gazing at me expectantly.

It was my turn to pace the room. "I really don't know how to start this…" I stopped to take a look at her angry face. Feeling myself back out, I quickly pressed on. "Kara, I… I think I like you."

--

_- -Kara- -_

"Kara, I… I think I like you."

My temper flashed away, and I was left with nothing short of shock.

I suddenly couldn't breathe.

I could only stare.

"I think I like you more than a friend way."

My heart stopped beating.

My mind was blank.

I was frozen to the spot.

"Kara?"

And with that, everything came crashing over me; where I was, what I was doing and, more importantly, his words. And my breath hitched again. He _liked _me? Did I even hear that correctly? He _loved_ me! No, wait, he _liked_ me. But more than a friend, I amended. He has feelings for me! I was shocked to say the least, but happy. None of my internal emotions must have shown on my face because Jacob still looked pretty worried.

His head was turned away. "Kara? It's okay if you think it's weird or anything. This doesn't change anything in our relationship – I mean, friendship, okay? I just needed to be clear about my feelings, because it's true. I mean, it won't be the same as before. And, I…" he faltered.

I jumped in. "Jacob," I said softly.

"Yeah?" Jacob seemed so dejected, I had trouble hiding my grin.

"I… I love someone."

His head snapped up to look at my carefully neutral emotion before he dropped his head again. "Oh."

"He's an idiot though," I continued, unable to help a little happiness seep out. "I used to think that he didn't share the same feelings as I did."

"Right."

"I mean, he was always going on and on about some other girl who wasn't even there!" I let some anger touch my tone. "But, he's the person I love, and I can't help still be there for him."

"Okay," Jacob nodded. He started to back out of the room. "I'll-"

"He's one of my best friends and I can't imagine life without him." He was still nodding, one hand clutching the door frame. "Not now, not ever."

"That's great," his voice was tight. "I, um, should probably-"

"Jacob," I called softly. He froze, still not looking at me.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to know who that person is?"

"Well, I, sure, I mean, no, not really, but if you want to tell me?"

I stood up, finally letting the smile show on my face. "I'm sure you'd like to know." I stepped closer and closer to him.

"Do I now?" He looked so pained. His body was already half out of the room.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Okay, then, who's the guy you love?"

"The idiot that I love so very much," I said, stopping an arm's length away from him, "is…you."

My heart beat twice before Jacob replied. "Okay, him, so, I should go now." He took a step backward before stopping and then looking at me with a horrified expression on his face. My smile just grew wider, if it were even possible. "Wait, what did you say?"

"Hmm," I pretended to ponder for a moment. "Oh, I just happen to forget."

He took two steps toward me, my words going through his mind once more. "Kara…" he warned.

I had to laugh. "What?" I took two steps backward to keep the space between us.

Furrowing his eyebrows, looking adorably frustrated, he stopped, not trusting what his mind was replaying. "Please?"

"What do you think I said?" I asked playfully.

He didn't seem to notice my happy expression. "Me, but that's not possible."

I looked at him incredulously. _What?_ "Why not?" Frowning, he looked at me, and possibly truly looked at me and caught my amused but shocked emotion. "See, you're idiotic, one of my best friends… that's already two criteria filled." His eyes widened and then something finally clicked. He was starting to grin now. "And then adding to that, you're smart-ish, and not too bad in the looks department either." I backed away, seeing a dangerous flash through his eyes.

"Go on," he said, closing the space I was creating until I was backed up to a wall.

"And, well, you're good with cars, you welcomed me, you have a motorcycle that has some cool factor in it. And… I think you get the point that I really am head over heels over you."

"Oh, but that point could do with more facts to support it. I really do need to be convinced."

My eyes narrowed. "Idiot."

"That you happen to like," he said.

"It's a wonder why I like you," I said breathlessly, the closeness of our position finally taking a toll on me.

"Well, there _are_ those things you said…" he said suggestively.

"How 'bout me?" I asked. "What do you like about me?"

"I like the fact that you like me, the idiot."

I smacked him on the head. "Stupid."

"Says the girl who likes me," Jacob smirked.

"I have a feeling this can go on forever."

"Me too." And, we laughed together. "Kara?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to have to get back at you for that trick you just played on me."

Oh.

**A/N: FLUFF! Haha… I think I'm about two-thirds through this story. Thanks for keeping up with it for so long! I love you guys. Thanks for all those reviews. Oh, and just to clarify, the idea of imprinting isn't out of my story, but I'm just not using it between Jacob and Kara. Kapeesh? I hope so. Reviews and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.**


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